Beginning Of The Journey

Ever since I was a little girl, I remember struggling with my weight.  I believe I was about 8 years old the first time someone told me that I was a little "heavy" and should probably try to lose some weight.  Now, as 8-year- olds go, looking back on that time in my life, I don't remember feeling heavy at all.  I was a kid!  How heavy could I be?  I look at pictures of myself now as a child and I don't see it.  But apparently, that person saw it and thought that seed should be planted in my mind.  YOU ARE HEAVY.  Is that to blame for the weight problem that I have today?  I really don't know.  I'm not blaming it but I'm not counting it out either.

There was a time in my life that I lost over 50 pounds.  Then I got pregnant with my son, Matthew.  The weight just piled back on after that.  And along with it, came more health problems for me.  More back pain, plantar fascitis, and the list goes on.

So, I thought that I would take the opportunity to write this blog to kind of record my thoughts as I move forward in this weight loss journey that I am about to embark on.  Today is my first appointment with a bariatric surgeon.  I'm excited and nervous.  I look at myself in the mirror and I can see the thin person that's underneath.  I could write a book on the types of diets I've tried and the different exercises I've attempted.  Now, my feet hurt so much that the only type of exercise that doesn't bother me at all is swimming.  I'm tired of not being able to do the things that I want to do with my children.  I'm tired of feeling like it's a struggle to get up off the couch or pick something up off the floor.  I'm ready for change to happen in my life.  And I have no idea how fast this change can occur.  From what I can gather from the people I've talked to, the surgery takes a while to get approved.  So, for now, I will have to wait and see.  I'm fantasizing about having a summer when I can go out of the house in a halter top and shorts and not feel like everyone is staring at me like I have no right to wear that in public.  I want to breathe better.  I want to climb a hill without feeling like I'm dying.  I want to bend over and not have to worry that I'll throw my back out.  These are my goals.  And I will reach them.