Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Weariness...HYOH

Oh, yes...it's real.  And I've experienced it to the max this past week.  It's partially my fault...the projects I've taken on.  Let me explain.

If you're just reading my blog for the first time, go back a few months and update yourself on the job I decided to take working with Dr. Addams.  A few weeks ago found us with a terrible billing error in the office.  Now, as you can imagine, a billing error is a big deal when you're a "small" medical office.  It's not like Dr. Addams has other physicians she can fall back on to make money.  She doesn't have an administration overseeing everything like a hospital does or even a larger medical clinic.  She started this practice on her own.  So, when there's a billing error, it's a big deal.  Granted, this error could have been prevented, but it wasn't.  The result was the firing of one of my co-workers.  It was a sad day.  I could see it coming as I headed into work that morning.  Even though I didn't think it was possible.  This person was THE BEST person we had in the office.  She knew her job in and out and knew most other jobs too.  So, it's been a time of catch up for the past few weeks.  And then this morning, the blow was dealt to me that the office manager (the former co-worker's best friend) was resigning.  The result?

I have two weeks to learn as much as I can, from a reluctant, on-her-way-out, co-worker, so that I can learn how to run the office the way it should be run. 

Panic?  Yes.  I did.

My panic was set at ease somewhat, however, when Dr. Addams called me into her office and let me know that she would cancel her patients for the next few weeks to "properly" train me to run the office.  She has such confidence in me.  It kind of blows my mind sometimes.  It seems as though when she wants something done right, she gives it to me to do.  One day, a few weeks ago, I gave her something that I had typed for her (a letter for a patient's doctor, I think) and she glanced at it and looked at me and said, "Did you do this?"  I said, "Yes."  She said, "Did you read over it?"  I said, "Yes."  She immediately signed her name and gave it back to me.  I was blown away.  She had THAT much faith in me, to sign her name to a document going to another professional that I had written without even looking at it???  Wow...no pressure there...

As I've had some time alone tonight, I've given thought to a few things though.  I am only one person.  I am a good worker.  I'm dedicated and I'm loyal.  But I'm only me.  And I can only do the work that I can do.  I can't try to do everyone's job.  I can't worry about the stuff that I can't do.  That's what these next two weeks is going to be about.  It's going to be me learning how to do the best job that I can do.  Not how to do the best job that, in a perfect work, superwoman could do.  I have to remember that.  I have to be realistic with myself.  I have to remember who I am and who God has called me to be.  I cannot let my work run my life.  I have to leave my work when I leave that office.  I have to.  If I don't, my family suffers, my marriage suffers and I will become someone I don't want to be, and who God doesn't want me to be.  He has called me to do my best as though I am doing it for Him.  I will do THAT job.  I will work as though for HIM.  I will not burn myself out.  I will not put too much pressure on myself to try and manage more than I can manage. 

I finished editing a book tonight.  It was a great story about a man who hiked the Appalachin Trail from Georgia to Maine.  He took breaks for various reasons, but he started in March and he finished in September. He had perseverance and he reached his goal at his pace.  He was injured and he had to stop from time to time for this and for other things, but he got back on the trail at the same place he got off and he continued until he reached the top of that mountain in Maine.  His mantra was H.Y.O.H.  Hike Your Own Hike.  How simple.  How wise. 

And I will. 

I will continue on to what I KNOW God has called me to do.  God never promised that it wouldn't be hard.  He never promised that I wouldn't have obstacles.  I knew that when I took this job.  I will pray for God to use me even more than He already has in this practice.  I will pray for God to give me wisdom to do the best job that He has called me to do.  He will not leave me in this.  That's not in His character.  And I will get through this rough time in my professional career.  When it's over, this office is going to be more efficient and I will be satisfied knowing that I was a key component in getting it to that stage. 

HYOH...It might be my new life motto.