So, what happened?

I know there are some of my buds who are dying to know what happened over the weekend. Did we get to go to Windsor for our Christmas with Craig's family?

The answer is a resounding YES!

We racked our brains trying to think of everything we possibly could think of. It was really frustrating. My daughter was, by far, the best at maintaining her faith. She kept telling us all to stop saying IF we go because we were going. Even though she couldn't see the end result yet, she knew! We exhausted every possible resource. Finally, my mom agreed to give us our Christmas money early. Craig talked to Enterprise Saturday morning and they were all out of cars. Unless they got a cancellation. And then we find out that they actually needed TWO cancellations because they were already short a car. At 11:00, we were told if they got any cancellations, they would call us.

At 11:30, they called and said if we could get there by noon, they had a car for us. I called the cab company and it was $40 for a cab from Corning to Elmira. It's about a 20 minutes drive. That was ridiculous. So, I called our neighbors and asked them if Craig could get a ride. Lo and behold, our neighbor's response was, "I'm going that way anyway. We'll leave in a few minutes." About an hour later, Craig came back with our rental car. I got everything all packed up while we were waiting and when Craig came home, we packed up the car and left.

God is so good! Even though things looked bleak, God came through for us. We even realized that Craig lost that $20 tip he got from work on Friday. The one we thought was a beginning answer to our prayers? Satan thinks he can steal our stuff and it's just not going to happen.

I hope you'll be encouraged by this story today. I'm so thrilled with how good my God is.

Drop By Nine Spoonfuls

"Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n Roll" has been the adopted theme of rock bands for years, and it speaks of a lifestyle that includes depression, sexual depravity, drug dependency, and high suicidal rates. Author Nicole Byerly unlayers this provocative world in her first book, Drop By Nine Spoonfuls. The book follows a rock band that has made it to the top, reaching "rock star" status, when they are confronted with the Truth. Certain key band members make a life-changing decision to follow Christ, throwing the band into upheaval concerning their future, their direction, and their eternal destiny. It's all here, written in a youth-oriented style that will keep a reader interested page after turning page. One band member is a self-mutilator; another pays the ultimate price for his choices and is found dead from a drug overdose. There is even a developing love story throughout.

This is my book! It makes a great Christmas gift. Let me know if you're interested in getting a copy. Or visit www.tatepublishing.com

With God, anything is possible!

Friday afternoon and we are snowed in. We are supposed to go to Windsor, NY tomorrow for Craig's family's Christmas celebration. Last night, we were coming home from Cassidy's chorus concert and when we pulled out of our parking place, there was a kind of "THUMP" in the van. As we drove home, Craig realized the power steering was gone. This morning, he took the van to the shop. They called him a little while ago and told him that our van was ready for the junk yard. It would take $900 to fix it. We definitely don't have $900. The money he's getting paid today is just enough to cover Christmas presents for his family and gas.

Who's report will I believe? You know what? I've been down the road of worry before. I've been down the road of disbelief. I'm not going down those roads anymore. Craig and I tithe. Every Sunday, we give God our TOP 10% of our money. We have started sowing. And we serve a faithful God. God is bigger than a minivan. He's bigger than the problems the minivan has. I'm DONE telling God about how big my problems are and I'm telling my problems how big my God is.

Problems...my God is WAY bigger than you!!!

And Satan, you'd better know that you're not affecting my faith! If anything you're making it stronger. I'm not worried. I'm not going to anguish over how the van is going to get fixed. Why should I worry? God is in control. He's proven himself faithful to us. He'll be faithful in this situation. I'm a tither! Satan, did you know I'm a tither! I live in God's economy, not in the world's. Regardless of what is said about this situation, I'll believe what God says. And he says that I'm his child. I'm protected and he takes care of me and my family. You can't hurt us! We're not yours!!!

I'm amazed with how Satan is coming against us. It just makes me realize how destined we must be for great things. I don't know what God's plans are with this situation. I don't need to know. We live in God's economy and in his principles. There is no need for us to worry. And I'm not. I'm just sitting here and waiting for my God to prove himself faithful, yet again!

Agree with me!!!

Believe!

Because of Craig's new job, we are able to start attending catechism class again on Tuesday nights. The Tuesday night session is taught by our pastor and it's just incredible teaching. Last night he was talking about Healing and Miracles, but he was focusing more on Miracles. I wanted to put some of my notes from his lesson into my journal today and share them with all of you.

Healing is progressive. Miracles are instant. It is always God's will to heal. This really is amazing to me. Even today, I hear my mom say to me, "Well, when God is ready, he will heal me." THAT is NOT the God that I serve. If you remember right, Jesus healed everyone who came to Him and asked for it. He never said, "Well, I'm not ready to heal you yet." One time, he told a Gentile woman that her time had not yet come and that He was sent to minister to the Jews. When she heard that, she said, "But Master, even the dogs get the crumbs that fall from their Master's table." When He saw her great faith, He healed her anyway. So, sometimes we might have to come at God a few times. We might have to pester Him. But, His healing power is for us and it is ALWAYS His will to heal.

God's Word is above your circumstances. If you remember when the Israelites were going into the Promised Land, they sent out 12 spies to check out the situation. 10 of them came back and said, "There are giants in the land! We're as good as dead if we venture in there!" They reacted based on what they SAW. 2 of them, Caleb and Joshua, came back and said, "God told us we can do this thing. Regardless of what it LOOKS like, let's do it!" They reacted based on what God said.

God has lots of promises for you. Regardless of what you're seeing in your life situation. Are you going to do things based on what you see or on what God says?

My Pastor gave us some steps to obtaining what you want from God.

1. Recognize the area that you need your healing/miracle.

God likes specifics. You should approach God with a specific purpose in mind. Tell Him, "God, I want you to do _____________." Don't say, "Well, I want God to do whatever He wants." That's not how you get what YOU want. If you're not clear on what you want, your faith will be rocky. Declare it and you'll have a rock to stand on!

2. Know who your Miracle-Maker is.

Keep your eyes on Jesus. Don't focus on the preacher or the special speaker that's coming in to your church this Sunday. Those people don't have special powers. God's power is what matters. And God's power is available to you NOW. Focus on the Word and remember that Satan likes to keep us busy. He is not stupid. He knows that if he can keep the Word out of your life, your faith won't grow. The Word is what you should be building your faith on. If you never have a goal, you'll never hit the target. Stand up, right now and tell your situation that you refuse to yield to it! Tell your problems how big your God is and stop telling God how big your problems are! Tell Satan that he can't take the Word from you. Spit in his face! Be strong and stop letting him trample all over you!!!!

Perhaps you're worrying about money. I will tell you that the area in which I live is NOT in a recession. This recession was created by the media telling people there was going to be a recession and then people stopped buying stuff. Where I live (Corning, NY) there ISN'T a shortage of jobs. Gas prices have been more than cut in half. You'll be in a recession if you tell yourself that. But if you're God's kid and you're living in God's economy...well, GOD JUST DOESN'T DO RECESSIONS!!!!

3. Have an expectancy!

If you don't believe for anything, you'll never get anything. Realize that you have a part in every healing and every miracle you get. Sometimes we put a cap on God. We have to start AGREEING with God. God wants the best for YOU! Agree wth Him! And again...get the WORD in your heart. The more Word you have in your heart, the better your faith will be.

4. There must be actions put to your faith.

If you don't have actions to your faith, you won't receive. Obedience is key. Look at the story of the wedding Jesus attended. The servants were told to GO AND GET THE POTS. If they hadn't gotten the pots, there would be no miracle. Ask the Holy Spirit what He wants you to do. You cannot get to heaven with works alone but faith without works is DEAD. Faith without actions means YOU REALLY DON'T BELIEVE.

**And just a note for all of you with doubting husbands: When you're dealing with someone else's free will, God will move on your behalf.

5. Affirm your faith

The servants at the wedding were told to fill the pots with water. You know what? Sometimes God asks us to do stupid things so that he'll see our faith. We have to believe that it's done when we ask God for something. Envision what you want done as DONE. Be willing to confess over what you're believing God for. See it and say it!!!

6. Stand firm and be wise

When you receive what you want, there are some things to do to keep it. Pray things through. One guy last night said that God has healed him twice of diabetes. After each time, he went and began eating foods he knew he shouldn't have. His diabetes came back. Now, he's got it a third time and he's in the process of receiving his healing but he knows that once it's completely manifested, he's got to eat right to keep it. BE WISE!!

So, I'm stepping out in faith and I'm sharing with all of you what I'm asking and believing God for. And I'll share it with all of you when it comes to pass. I want to be pregnant. I want to have a baby with my husband. The three kids we have are not ours together. Cassidy and Matthew are mine and JJ is Craig's. I want us to have a child together. At least one. But I'm believing God for as many as He wants to bless us with.

I'm not sure what I have to do, other than this, to step out in faith. Part of me thinks that maybe I should start buying baby stuff or something like that. Haha.

Believe with me! What are you believing God for???

Fireproof

I am going to be a huge promoter of this movie.

I think everyone should see it. It is really the best movie I've seen in a long time. If you're married, going to be married or think you might be married someday, you should go and see Fireproof.

Here's the part where I ruin it.

Caleb is a fireman and his wife Catherine is a PR worker at a hospital. Little by little, they have kind of drifted apart. Their relationship has suffered and now they both are playing the blame game. Neither one is willing to give at all to make the other person happy. Before long, they decide they want to get a divorce. Caleb's dad challenges him to wait 40 days before goes through with the divorce and he gives him the book The Love Dare. Each day challenges Caleb to add one concept to the way he treats his wife. At first, she doesn't buy into it. She's started seeing a doctor at the hospital on the side. She's taken off her wedding ring. Some women at work are telling her that Caleb was probably being nice to her to butter her up so he gets everything in the divorce. He keeps trying and trying to get her to see how much he's changed. He even makes a beautiful candlelight dinner for her and she pretty much spits in his face and tells him, "I do not love you."

Caleb is ready to give up. He meets with his father who tells him that he can't give her what she needs because he doesn't have God in his life. Desperate, Caleb reaches out to God and gets saved. He continues with The Love Dare. Slowly, God starts weeding out things from his life that are ruining his marriage. One of the big things is pornography. He is constantly looking at porn on the computer. The Love Dare for that day challenges him to get rid of anything that is an addiction. So, he takes the computer outside and smashes it to pieces. He gives Catherine red roses and a card that says, "I LOVE YOU MORE".

The thing that really shows her how much he cares for her is that he took his entire savings and used it to purchase a hospital bed and a wheelchair for her mother, who has just had a stroke. He had been saving for a boat for years. When she first learned that someone had done that for her, she thought it was the doctor she'd been seeing. It turns out that he did donate money to the items but it was only $300. Caleb gave the rest of the $24,000 dollars.

In the end, Catherine came to the firestation to tell him that she does love him and she forgives him for all of the things that went wrong in their relationship and she asks him to forgive her. They end up renewing their wedding vows.

I think this movie is incredible. It really made me think about my own marriage and about what I do to serve my husband every day. I know I can do more. And I intend to do more. I know I'm not perfect but God IS perfect. And I'm going to start seeking God every day and asking him to make me a good wife.

Where I've Been

I thought I would post a blog describing where I've been. Emotionally, relationship-wise...that kind of stuff.

When I finished high school, I went to college at a small Christian school near Boston, MA. I was "engaged" at the time. By that I mean, my bf asked me to marry him but I hadn't gotten a ring. He did get me a ring in November of my freshman year but by January we broke up. I was pretty depressed about "ever" finding a guy. I know that sounds so dumb but you remember how you all were at 18-19, right? Anyhow, my sophomore year I met someone who was a freshman and we fell in love pretty quickly. I will call him R. We got married the summer before my senior year. He only went to the college for one year but moved to the area to be near me while I finished school. Once we got married, we took an apartment in the married student housing on campus. Things were great for us during most of our first year together and then in March, just a few months short of our one-year anniversary, his oldest brother was killed in a car accident. R was devastated because his brother was basically the father figure in his life because his dad died when he was two. Things went downhill from there.

R started getting online in the school's computer lab a lot and chatting/flirting with other women. The first time I caught him, I had gone into the chat room pretending to be someone else and he tried to pick me up! We worked through this and several other times it happened as well...everytime I forgave him. Once I finished school, we moved back to NY to be near my family because I was expecting our first baby. Cassidy was born and it was wonderful. A few years later, I got pregnant with my son. During this pregnancy, we came into some extra money and decided to get a computer for our home. I thought about what had happened in the past but figured R would have grown up a lot since then and it shouldn't be a problem again.

I was wrong

Almost immediately, the chatting/flirting started again. I caught him several times but the time that stick out in my mind the most was when I received a phone call from a man from Ohio who informed me that his wife and my husband had an online relationship and that he was planning on going out there to meet him. There was no way he could do this without my knowing, obviously, but the plans were there anyway. I gave him an ultimatum at that point. We go to counseling over this or you move out. He told me he would go to counseling.

Counseling went well for a while until the counselor decided to start talking to R about his brother's death. After that, he no longer wanted to go and was suddenly cured! I stuck by him a while longer, hoping. That year, I hurt my back and so I had to take time off from work. It was a very serious injury and at the time I worked at a psych unit of a hospital so I couldn't go back to work. I knew that he wouldn't do anything on the computer as long as I was home. He ended up taking a security job at a local housing project and "made friends" with one of the couples there.

That Christmas, I took our kids to visit my in-laws without him. He claimed he had to work and couldn't get the time off. While I was gone, I herniated another disk and when I got home, I was in severe pain. It was a few days before Christmas. We went shopping on Christmas Eve and it was in the back of my mind that something wasn't right between R and me. Since I had been home, he had been sleeping on the couch, claiming he didn't want to hurt my back. This had never happened before. And he just wasn't as attentive as he had been. So, that Christmas Eve, I went to bed and began journalling my feelings. I decided to come right out and ask him if he had been cheating on me. So, I went back downstairs and I asked him.

He had wanted to wait until after the holidays to tell me. But, he was having an affair with the woman of this couple he had met at the housing project. He had even had her in our bed while I was gone visiting his family. I was extremely hurt. He told me he wanted a divorce.

It took me a long time to get to sleep that night. I called a bunch of people that night...I was so confused. The next morning, we did Christmas with the kids and then R took us over to my parents' house, as we did every Christmas. I had already told him he wasn't welcome there. The last thing he asked me in the car before I got out was, "How am I going to get my Christmas presents from your parents?" I laughed sarcastically and told him that I'd mail them to him. The nerve! It was probably the worst Christmas I had ever had.

When I got in my parents' house, my brother (who is married to one of my best friends, whom I called the night before) was so upset, we thought he was going to have a heart attack. He wanted to go out and kill R. And I mean, KILL him. My parents had no idea what was going on at that point so I filled them in. I spent the day with my family crying and getting lots of support.

The next day, my pastor and his family came over and took down all of my Christmas decorations for me. My crying was over and I pretty much went into survival mode. It was wonderful to have so much support. A bunch of my friends also came over and helped me pack up R's stuff that he was coming to pick up. It was a bitter end. But, I can say that I stuck it out as long as I could. And I knew that when I stand before God someday, the fault of my marriage failing had nothing to do with me. I'm sure I made mistakes but I never strayed. I tried to be as good a wife as I could be even through all of that. I supported him when he wanted to go into criminal justice and we were very active in our church.

The months rolled on and I got into a few really dumb relationships. One guy verbally abused me and started bordering on physical abuse. I got out of that relationship with a lot of support from friends. Another guy promised me the world but neglected to tell me that he was actually still married...and living with his wife, even though they were supposedly on the outs. I felt like my heart had been through a blender.

I realized then that God wasn't going to bring me my future husband (the real one!) until my divorce was final. So, once my divorce was final, I started writing letters to my future husband. Lo and behold a month later, I met Craig.

God really does know what He's doing. If you listen to Him, He will not steer you in the wrong direction. He's amazing like that! Even through all the baloney I've been through, I can see God's hand in all of it. And I'm much stronger for it too!

My First Blog

OK, I'm no stranger to this. I just have to learn how to navigate this site. But, I'm sure I'll get it before long.

I love to blog. And I think I'm pretty good at it. I'll let you all be the judge. I have TONS of things I'd like to talk about. And I want to get to know the other bloggers on this site as well.

I suppose I can introduce myself. My name is Nicole. I'm 32 years old. I'm married with two children and one step-son (whom I haven't had the pleasure of spending any time with yet cuz he's a new addition to our family). I love Jesus with all of my heart. I'm an author and I'm currently working on a couple of different projects. I'm looking for an agent, too. So, if anyone knows of anyone who wants to help me out, that would be great!

Anyhow, that's me. Thanks for reading and I hope you'll come back for more once I get this ball rollin'! Be blessed!