Philippians 4:12

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Philippians 4:12


For those of you who don't know, I quit my job on Tuesday.


It sounds like a pretty drastic step, huh?  To just walk out and never come back. But that is what I did.  If you know me, you know that I have the patience of a saint.  I also don't get provoked easily or insulted easily.  I was both provoked and insulted.  And I have been for the past few months.  I finally had had enough.  I came back from lunch only to find out (yet again) that I was going to be yelled at for something that I had had no control over (yet again).  I made up my mind I was NOT.  And I left.  


It was quite freeing.  I had to pep-talk myself all the way to my vehicle:  "Come on, you're leaving.  You're going to go to your van and drive away and be done with it.  Keep going, keep going..."  Once I got a safe distance away, I made some phone calls ("Hi, Honey.  I just quit.") and got myself together.  My adrenaline was pumping like you wouldn't believe.  I made it home and spent some time relaxing and getting control of my emotions before I went and picked Caleb up from the babysitter's house.  


I've had a few days now to reflect on all that took place and to think about everything that I have gone through for the past year and six months.  


Once Caleb was finished nursing, I felt ready to get back into the working world.  I had been a stay at home mom for quite some time by then and I was beginning to get unsatisfied with my life.  At the time, I thought it was just that I was ready to get back out there and make some money and help my family.  The job I got was for a local Bed and Breakfast (Elmira's Painted Lady) and it was a nice little part-time job for me.  I went there in the mornings, worked for four hours at a computer and then I went and picked up my son and went home.  It was only a temporary job though.  And when it ended, I soon found myself with another temporary job.  Doing the same sort of bookkeeping stuff for a local appliance place.  I worked there for about a month and then as I was wrapping things up with them, I started looking for something else again.  Looking back now, I can hear God saying to me at that point in time: "OK, fine.  If you MUST have a job, go back to work at the Pregnancy Center.  At least it will be in ministry and it will only be four days a week."  Kind of like He was letting me have what I wanted (a job) but keeping me as close to Him as He could.  Then Robin offered me a job and I accepted.  I was so happy there.  I remember feeling like I wasn't at work at all.  I was doing stuff that I loved and working with Christian women and furthering the Kingdom of God and getting a paycheck!  


And then the opportunity came along to work with Dr. Addams.  I was so flattered that she had come to me.  And the WAY she came to me was so nice.  She told me that she had wanted me to come back to work for her for a long time, she liked the work that I did and she wanted me to supervise her office. She offered me a generous pay increase.  Under those circumstances, I allowed myself to get greedy and full of myself.  I prayed of course, but the dollar signs out-weighed any voice from God.  And my mind wasn't being quiet enough to listen to Him.  I accepted the position.  


Only two months after I started working there, Dr. Addams fired the Billing Assistant.  And then the Office Manager quit.  I was left doing the job of two people, with the work that I was hired to do being left by the wayside.  To say I struggled would be putting it mildly.  I was drowning in the amount of work I had to do.  And when I came to the doctor to let her know that it was too much for me, I got some work taken away from me (Oh, leave that for someone else to do.  You focus on this stuff and don't worry about that.) only to be chastised for not doing all of my work the following week.  I won't put you through the sordid details here.  I really don't wish to relive everything I put up with for those few months after the Office Manager left.  But I can tell you one thing, when I woke up on Wednesday morning and I knew I didn't have to go to that place, I felt so renewed and loved, incredibly LOVED by my God.  


Yes, I have learned to be content, regardless of the circumstances.  Regardless of what I'm FEELING.  I don't know what the future has in store for me where work is concerned.  I don't know if I'm going to find another job or even LOOK for another job at this point.  I am content because right now, in this very second, I am exactly where God wants me to be.  I'm doing His Will by raising Caleb myself.  I'm doing His Will by making dinner for my family every night and taking most of the household workload off of my husband, who works hard every day for our family.  I am where God wants me to be.  I'm happy.  I'm fulfilled.  And I will continue to seek after God's Will for my life.  It's only when His Will becomes my will that I will be in complete obedience to Him.  


And THAT is the path I'm on now.