The work of Pregnancy Resource Centers is often unknown by many people in communities all around the country. The work is important. It is vital. Because of the need for people to understand how important this work is, I have begun writing a work of fiction that gives us an inside view of Pregnancy Resource Centers and how they have changed the lives of women. My work at the Southern Tier Pregnancy Resource Center has been some of the most rewarding work I have ever done. It is my inspiration for writing this novel. I believe that God has orchestrated this and every idea I have for this book comes from Him.
There are some people (you know who you are) who may be portrayed in this book. Any likeness of the client characters is purely coincidental, although their stories are all too real. Thank you for reading and I ask that you continue to pray for God-inspired ideas as I continue to pen this important piece.
~Nicole
Chapter One
A simple glance down at the bathroom sink told Ari all she needed to know. She had taken enough of these tests to know what those two pink lines meant when they appeared on that bright white stick. Her heart sank a bit as she let the true meaning behind those lines register in her mind.
How far along was she? It was hard to remember the last time she had had her period. She took out her cell phone and looked up the app that told her when her period would be expected again. The calendar told her it was due three weeks ago, but since she never bothered to update her phone when it was that “time of the month”, it was hard to say if that would be exactly accurate.
With a long sigh, she dropped the test into the trash and flushed the toilet. After washing her hands, she took the box the test had come in, which contained two unused tests, under the sink.
Ari sat on her bed that night and took out her journal. She thought a few minutes before she began to record the day’s activities, as she did several times a week.
March 14
Here I am again. In the same boat I always seem to find myself in. I can’t believe I’m pregnant again. It’s such a nuisance. But I suppose it’s my own fault, if only I would remember to take my pills on time. What use are they, anyway? I guess I don’t have to pay for them, so that’s one good thing…
Ari stopped writing and looked out her window. She thought about the many times she had been inside the downtown clinic during the past year. Was it three? Or four? It was hard to remember; too many times, anyway.
Abortion is not birth control.
The familiar mantra stuck in her head at that moment. She had heard it many times by the dozens of people who often took up vigil outside the gate of the Planned Parenthood building. Of course abortion wasn’t birth control. But, Ari found it hard to comprehend how she had any other choice at this point in her life.
She was twenty-five years old. She had tried holding down a job, but she found it was too demanding on her to do so. A trip to the county clinic had earned her a few prescriptions for something they called “Bipolar Disorder” and a nice check from the state every month. Her medical bills were covered under Medicaid, which was applied for and approved only a day before she had had her first abortion. She lived in a scantily-clad, one-bedroom apartment in a run-down part of the small city of Sylvester, NY.
The sound of her cell phone ringing broke her from her thoughts and she picked it up. It was her best friend, Sarah.
“Hey, girl,” Sarah greeted. “Are you coming or what?”
Ari looked at the clock on her nightstand. She was supposed to have met Sarah fifteen minutes ago for drinks a few blocks from her apartment. Somehow, she’d lost track of the time.
“I’m sorry,” Ari apologized. “I guess I forgot.”
“Forgot? It’s St. Patrick’s Day, for crying out loud. How could you forget? Haven’t we been talking about tonight for weeks?”
“Yes…” A wave of guilt flooded over Ari and she looked over at her closet, hoping to find some clean clothes that might work for an evening of partying. She hadn’t done laundry in over a month. “I just…I just found out I’m pregnant.”
“What? Again?”
“Again.”
Sarah sighed. “Ari, I swear…you’ve got to stop skipping your pills. I’ve honestly never known anyone so fertile in my whole life.”
“Yeah, so I don’t know if it’s such a good idea for me to go tonight.”
“Are you kidding? Who cares if you’re pregnant? You’re not going to keep it, are you?”
“Well, no, but…”
“No buts. Maybe you’ll even get lucky and miscarry or something. Then you won’t have to go through that whole trip down to the clinic. We were just there like, three months ago, you know.”
“Yes, I know.”
“So, come on. There are some really hot guys here and I need my best friend to keep me in line. That’s you, darlin’.”
Ari smiled, despite herself. She resolved to put the matter out of her mind for the time being and join her friend. What was the worst that could happen?
She was already knocked up, wasn’t she?
* * * *
A blinding headache greeted Ari the next morning as she stirred in her bed. She reached out her arm to feel beside her, hoping she would only feel the mattress. She groaned when her arm landed on the form of another human being.
Why today? She thought. Ari silently chastised herself for having brought a man home with her. She did not have the strength to deal with being polite to some guy she met in a bar last night.
“Umph,” came the muffled reply from under the pillow. “Knock it off, Ari.”
Ari heaved a great sigh of relief. It was only Sarah.
When Sarah’s snoring resumed, Ari attempted to go back to sleep and ignore the pounding in her temples. Even so, she wasn’t a novice at this, and she knew that the only thing that would cease her suffering was a tall glass of water and a couple of pain relievers.
She rolled out of bed and went to the kitchen. Thankfully, there were no other people in her apartment. Many times, she had woken up thinking she was alone and the remnants of a wild party lay just outside her bedroom door. Today, all was quiet and in its place.
The water tasted good to her and she forced herself to gulp down a large glass before placing it in the sink with the other dirty dishes. In the back of her mind she recalled a promise she had made to herself last week to clean up her apartment. It needed it, badly.
“Do you have any juice, or anything?”
Ari turned around at the voice of her best friend and couldn’t help but laugh. Sarah’s blonde hair, which had been in a beautiful ponytail last night had crept up to the top of her head. Her hair stuck out from the tightly-wound scrunchie in several angles. Her mascara was smeared down her cheeks and she was yawning.
“You’re no thing of beauty yourself this morning, Precious,” Sarah quipped before opening the refrigerator. She wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Honestly, Arianna, I don’t know how you live. There’s hardly anything in here.”
Ari bristled at the use of her full first name. “I manage. Juice is in the freezer. It’s concentrate. You’ll have to make some more.”
The girls busied themselves with getting some semblance of breakfast on the table before they spoke again.
“No hot guys for us last night, huh?”
Sarah bit into her toast and shook her head. “Not with you around, anyway. I swear, Ari. You were definitely not the life of any party last night. What was with you anyway?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“You don’t, huh? Well, how about when you were telling anyone and everyone who would listen how you just found out you were pregnant and that meant you were a terrible person? Do you remember that?”
She didn’t. All Ari remembered was sitting at the bar, watching Sarah talk to two guys who had come over to buy them drinks. Ari had accepted the drink…and a few more after that one. And then she had found her phone absolutely fascinating until she dropped it on the floor and it shattered. After that, everything else was a blur.
“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” she replied. “Anyway, what happened with those guys?”
“When you obviously showed no interest in acting like a decent human being, they left us alone. We drank a little more and then I got us a cab back here.”
Ari nodded and sipped some coffee. “Not a bad night, then.”
Sarah tried to give her a stern look, and then couldn’t help but laugh. “Seriously. I can’t have you going out with me and putting off any guy who comes my way. Are you going to take care of this problem, or what?”
“Yes,” Ari responded firmly. “Today. I need you to come with me.”
“Of course you do.” Sarah sighed.
Ari looked up at her, annoyed. “What does that mean?”
Sarah shrugged. “I don’t know. I just…ugh. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t act like that. I’m your best friend and I’m happy to help you when you need help. I just…well, I kind of wish that you’d stop getting yourself in these predicaments. You know?”
“Yes, I know.” Ari felt guilty. It didn’t matter how much all of those “holier-than-thou” people tried to reach her as she walked into the clinic each time she’d gone—those people were hypocritical idiots—no one made her feel guilty like Sarah did; especially when her concerns were genuine. And this time, Ari could tell, they were.
“Isn’t there a different kind of birth control you can use? I know you have a terrible time remembering to take those pills.”
It was true. That was a problem. It wasn’t really birth control if she couldn’t count on herself to use it for it to work.
“I’ve been thinking about that. Maybe the shot?”
“Mmm…I’ve known people who have tried that and they blew up like a balloon.”
“Well, forget that then.” Ari thought a moment longer before adding, “I’ll just ask them at the clinic. I’m sure I’m not the only human being in history who can’t remember to take her pills.”
“Good idea.”
They finished their breakfast in silence. Sarah took their dishes to the sink and, to her credit, she started filling the sink with soapy water and pushed up her sleeves. “What time do you want to go?”
“Let me jump in the shower. I know I won’t feel like showering later, if I even do in a few days. Do you think you can stay here for a day or two? Having this procedure done always kicks my butt.”
“Of course. You know me. I’m here to help.”
Ari smiled at Sarah before leaving her with a sink load of dishes. She headed into the bathroom to wash off the stink of the night before that she could feel just seeping through her pores.
It was time to get ready for her abortion.
Chapter Two
“What do you mean, there aren’t any openings?”
“I’m sorry, hun,” the older woman behind the desk said with a shrug. “There’s nothing I can do today. If you come back in the morning, I can get you in. But you have to come first thing.”
Ari sighed. “Isn’t there any way I could just wait? Maybe a spot will open up. I really need to get this taken care of today.”
“You might be waiting all day,” the woman replied. She looked past Ari into the waiting room. It was so full that people were standing all over the room. Women in various states of pregnancy were there, along with others who were there for regularly scheduled check-ups. “And even then, it might be for nothing. We only have one doctor in the office today. It makes the schedule rather tight.”
“Oh, for crying out loud…” Ari turned around, desperation in her eyes. She looked at Sarah and threw her hands up in the air. “They can’t see me today.”
“What? Why not? I thought they were a walk-in clinic.”
“A walk-in clinic that doesn’t staff enough doctors, apparently.”
A young girl sitting in a chair nearby looked up at them. She looked to be about fifteen. Her skin was a dark shade of brown and she smiled. “I heard that Dr. Glenn left. That’s why there’s such a line. She turned Christian or something and just left.”
“Figures,” Ari muttered. She let Sarah take her hand and guide her out the door. Once outside, Sarah looked at Ari as she put on her sunglasses.
“Isn’t there somewhere else we can go? That can’t be the only clinic in this town.”
“It’s the only one who does abortions. Unless we want to go to Littleton. I know there’s a clinic there.”
“Gas money, my dear,” Sarah told her. Ari shook her head.
“You know I’m broke until the first.”
“Yup.”
The two of them got back in Sarah’s car and started to pull out of the parking lot when a sign from across the street caught Sarah’s eye.
“What is that place?”
Ari looked up. “That place? It’s a pregnancy center.” She looked at Sarah. “Don’t even think about it. Keep going, Sarah.”
“Well…can’t they help us?”
“They don’t do abortions. They give you information and education.” Ari could practically quote the speel by heart. She had called there a few times asking for help before her previous abortions. They always were very nice to her, very kind. They just didn’t offer her the kind of help that she was looking for.
“I’ve heard of those places. They do free stuff, right? Like, we wouldn’t have to pay. I’m sure if you explained your case to them they would help you. Maybe even refer you to an OB who would take care of it for you?”
The idea wasn’t bad, actually. Maybe they could refer her to someone. Chances were, with only one doctor at the clinic, it would be days to weeks before Ari was able to get an appointment. And besides, if they didn’t like what the people at the pregnancy center had to say, they could just leave. No one would keep them there against their will.
“Okay, it’s not a bad idea,” Ari allowed. “Let’s go. Maybe we won’t need an appointment.”
“Atta girl,” Sarah said before she did an illegal U-turn at the next stop light.
How fortunate that the pregnancy center was right across the street from the clinic?
* * * *
The building itself was beautiful. It was a brick structure but the inside was new and furnished in a very modern way. Soft, cream-colored sofas lined the walls when they entered. A sign directed them to the elevator, which was laid with a rich, red carpet. When the doors opened on the second floor, the girls stepped out and paused before the door to the pregnancy center.
Pregnancy Care Center of Sylvester.
Once inside, they were greeted by a young girl who sat at a desk. Ari was struck by the fact that no bullet-proof glass stood between them. It was just a young girl with bouncy, curly red hair and a bright smile.
“Isn’t it a beautiful day?” the girl asked.
Ari and Sarah were caught off guard by the question. It was uncharacteristically warm for a March day in New York. Even so…this was strange.
“How can I help you, ladies?”
Sarah cleared her throat, the first one recovering enough to speak. “Hi, um…I’m Sarah. This is Arianna. We were wondering if a doctor was here today?”
“Well, usually no. We are staffed by volunteers and a few staff members. But today must be your lucky day because we do have a doctor here today. Our new medical director.”
“Oh…is he available to speak with us?”
The young girl giggled. “The doctor is a she. And I believe she is.” She took down a clip board from a shelf on her desk and handed it to Sarah. “I’ll need you to fill this out for me.” She paused and glanced at Ari. “Do you…do you both need paperwork?”
“Oh,” Sarah quickly handed Ari the clipboard. “Nope. Just Ari does, actually. Thanks.”
“Sure.” There was that smile again. “My name is Natalie. Have a seat in our waiting room. I’ll let the doctor know you’re here and you’d like to speak with her.”
Sarah led Ari over to a chair. They sat down and Ari looked down at the questions on the piece of paper. To the place’s credit, the form was short. She started writing and then looked up at Sarah.
“Can we get out of here?”
“You’re not serious.”
“Of course I am. I don’t feel right. I feel like I’m going to be sick.”
“You think you’re the first girl to throw up in this place? Please. Just dot your I’s and cross your T’s and let’s talk to this doctor. It’ll be all over before you know it.”
Ari finished the form and brought it back up to Natalie. She thanked her and said it would only be a few more minutes. A staff member would be out to get them before the doctor was to join them in the counseling room.
Ari had only just sat back down in her chair when another door opened and a woman in her mid-40s appeared. She smiled and Ari felt herself relaxing. The woman approached and held out a hand to both of the girls.
“Welcome!” she greeted. “I’m Hope. Glad you guys came today.”
Her easy manner put both girls at ease and they followed her through the door and down the hall to a counseling room.
The room itself was gorgeous. A mural was painted on one of the walls. It was a big, beautiful tree. In fancy writing, which Ari realized was actually very professional-looking calligraphy, a Bible verse was delicately painted. The furniture was incredibly comfortable and green plants adorned each corner of the room.
“What a nice room,” Sarah said as she glanced around.
“Thank you,” replied Hope. “We had someone do the mural for us. I did the rest of the decorating myself.” She smiled. “I guess I have a thing for making spaces seem more homey.”
Homey. That was a good word for how the room felt. Ari was much more comfortable here than she ever had been in the clinic across the street. Everything was so sterile and…void of emotion over there.
Yes. This was much nicer. Her nerves began to relax.
“Now,” Hope said, adjusting her glasses and looking down at the clipboard in her lap. “What can we help you with today?”
“Well,” Sarah began, looking at Ari, who suddenly seemed as though the cat had gotten her tongue. “We need some abortion information. You see…my friend…well, she’s my best friend, really…”
Hope looked at Ari without a trace of judgment. “You’re pregnant?”
“Yes. I mean, I am pretty sure I am. I took a test last night and it was positive.”
“Okay. I have some housekeeping questions I have to ask you, just to get some background information. Is that okay?”
“Sure.”
They spent the next twenty minutes going over Ari’s medical history and background. They discussed her living situation, her romantic situation (or lack thereof), and her religious background. When Hope was satisfied that she knew everything she needed to know, she took her glasses off and placed them on the table before her.
“Well…moment of truth. We’ll do another pregnancy test right here. And then we’ll talk about your options. Sound good?”
Ari actually smiled. She really liked this woman and her no-nonsense way of doing things. “Sounds good to me. Do you do a blood test, or…?”
“Urine. The bathroom is right through that door. We only need a few drops but you can fill ‘er all the way up if you want to. And then come back here and we’ll do the test together. Cups are on the back of the toilet.”
“Okay.” Ari stood up.
“Oh, Ari? One more thing.” Hope looked at Sarah with a mischievous look in her eye and winked. “Before you come back, make sure you put the lid on the cup really tight. If you trip and fall, Sarah and I don’t want a shower.”
Sarah burst out in laughter and Ari chuckled as she left the room.
Hope smiled at Sarah and Sarah was sure that she had delivered the same line to countless other women on their way into the bathroom.
“Thank you so much,” Sarah said after Ari was gone. “This has been a stressful day, to say the least. We went to Planned Parenthood before we came here and that place was jam-packed. This is something that Ari wants to get taken care of right away. I’m sure you understand that. And you have been so good, ever since we got here.”
“It’s a pleasure,” Hope said. “It’s what we’re here for. I’m glad you guys thought to come here. I know we can help.”
“I can’t believe this is all free. Seems like you’d have to charge us something.”
Hope shook her head. “We’re funded by donors. Donors who have a heart for women and babies and families. That’s what makes it free. And the volunteers that work here are here because they care. It really makes this place different from other clinics.”
Sarah nodded. “No doubt.”
The bathroom door opened and Ari emerged with her cup. Hope instructed her to place it on a paper towel on the glass-topped table and have a seat. She showed Ari the test and opened the little package for her before placing the small disk on the table. She gave her the dropper, explained how the test worked and told her to put five drops of urine into the test well. Once that was done, Hope set a timer for five minutes and they sat back in their seats to wait.
“So,” Hope began. “Did you guys know that we’re a Christian organization?”
“You are?” Ari was slightly surprised. She had seen the Bible verse on the wall but Hope seemed completely normal to her. Christians were wacky people with crazy ideas, weren’t they? Hope was genuine and funny, even!
“We are.” Hope crossed her legs and folded her hands in her lap. “And that’s one reason why we don’t perform abortions here or do referrals for them.”
“What about under…special circumstances?” Sarah asked. “Ari has had a few abortions in the past. Surely carrying a baby wouldn’t be good for her body.” Sarah looked at Ari. “When was your last abortion?”
“Umm…” The exact date was escaping her mind at the moment. She thought back to what the weather was like at the time and she recalled it being cold with just a little bit of snow on the ground. She remembered seeing Christmas lights strung around the waiting room of the clinic. “It was the middle of December, I think.”
“Right,” Sarah agreed. “I remember. And before that…well let’s just say Ari isn’t very good at taking her birth control pills like she should. We were kind of hoping that you could recommend a doctor to help her? Or maybe your medical director could help in some way. Ari really doesn’t want to deal with all of this right now.” Inwardly, Sarah was preparing herself with arguments regarding Ari’s lack of a job, lack of a boyfriend or husband, her bipolar disorder…anything that would help them present their case. It just made sense that Ari was a prime candidate for an abortion…as well as a different birth control method that would keep her from getting pregnant in the future.
Hope nodded her understanding with a look of complete empathy on her face. She glanced at the pregnancy test on the table and her smile faded somewhat. “It looks like we don’t need to wait for the timer. We already have our result.”
The small disk had a positive reading on it that was as clear as day. After they all stared at it for a few minutes, Hope looked up at them. “I’d like to talk with you about your choices, Ari. And then we can have Dr. Glenn come in and talk with you both.”
Ari wasn’t sure she heard the woman right. “Dr. Glenn? The abortion doctor?”
Hope smiled. “Well, not anymore. Dr. Glenn is our new medical director. I’m sure you’ll find her…pleasantly changed. And probably very happy to see you here today.”
