RIP Henry The Octopus

Henry the Octopus suffered a painful and agonizing death this morning at the hands...er...paws of Gizmo of Corning, NY.

Henry was a loved member of the Colwell household. He joined the family circa June, 2003 as Matthew's beloved Wiggles Octopus friend. Tragedy struck this morning at approximately 9:04 am when Henry was overtaken by one, Gizmo, species: Canine. Gizmo is a one year old lhasa-apso/american eskimo canine who has been with the Colwell family since April of 2008. Henry was abruptly struck in the back several times by the canine's large nose before being picked up by one of his eight limbs. Gizmo then carried Henry to the rug in the daycare room and proceeded to chew. Unfortunately, Henry's screams were not heard by the remainder of the family due to the fact that he was, in fact, a toy.

Ultimately, Henry met his end when Gizmo tore one of his eight legs off and threw it across the room. She then began to remove the beads that made up the stuffing inside the toy octopus. Henry continued to scream, but again, he was a toy.

The burial took place in the Colwell family garbage can. Services will take place today, January 13, 2009 and will consist of people looking at Henry and shaking their heads as they continue to pour food, waste and paper products down upon his head, thereby, burying him in the garbage.

His remains were sucked up off the carpet by the Colwell family vacuum. The Colwell family wishes to extend many thanks to the vacuum for it's quick recovery of Henry's remains.

The vacuum was unavailable for comment.