It took me a long time to arrive at the place where I am today.
I ran away from God's plans for me for a long time. I'm not even sure why. God's desires were ultimately my desires for me. I wanted to be a writer since I was ten years old. Ever since I penned that first four page story that featured myself, my best friend Heather, and Davy Jones. I wrote more of those types of stories than I can count. Then I began writing what I referred to as "Monkees Notes" where I would write about different aspects of The Monkees. I didn't realize it at the time, of course, but I know now that I was writing my own version of news articles.
As my tastes grew older, my writing grew too. I still wrote what is referred to now as "Fan Fiction" featuring myself, my friends and my favorite music groups (New Kids On The Block, dcTalk, etc.), but before long I began writing real fiction. Stories I created in my mind about different characters that didn't have anything to do with any of my friends. I wrote all of these stories long-hand. Each Wednesday night when our youth group had our weekly meeting, I would bring my notebook with me and it would get confiscated as soon as I got on the church van. It would get passed around and the pages read as we picked up other kids. On the way home, I would be the last stop on the route, which allowed for all of my friends to have a go at reading the next section of my story.
After I got married (the first time) I wrote my first "book". I wrote it long-hand as well, but typed it was over three hundred pages. It was a remarkable love story. I wanted so badly for it to get published...
But I never even tried to find a publisher.
I think I doubted God. I thought that my dreams were only dreams and there was no way that I could ever really become someone that got paid for writing. I continued through college and struggled through my marriage. I still wrote. I wrote many stories that had beginnings but no endings. And then one day I got an idea for a new story and in my mind, it was a story that was begging to be written.
That was Drop By Nine Spoonfuls.
If you've never read Drop By Nine Spoonfuls, you should. I don't say that because it's mine. I say it because that was the first book I ever had published. Yes, it was a "vanity" publisher who I wholeheartedly believe scammed me. But, it felt good to have someone believe in my abilities to write. So, I signed the contract and prayed for the best.
But I continued on in my secular job. I continued working in the world with the "dream" of being a writer in the back of my mind. You would think that it would be a clue that I was doing the wrong thing when doing copywriting-type work was a part of every job I did. It wasn't much, but in each position I held, I was constantly being asked to look something over for grammar or write this or that for a newsletter.
I still didn't have any idea what it meant to do what God wanted me to do in my life. I knew what I loved. But it took a huge blow for me to get it through my head that God wanted me writing NOW. It took me walking out on my job one day in the beginning of March before God could get a hold of me. It was quite a situation. But He sure did get my attention.
For the longest time I thought that being a Godly woman meant that I did the best I could to help my husband take care of our family. For me, it meant different things for a while. There was a season where it meant holding down a full time job because my husband (my first husband) constantly jumped from job to job.
There was a season where it meant staying home and taking care of my house and kids.
There was a season where it meant working a 32-hour a week job doing Christian ministry.
There was a season where it meant that someone was so desperate to have me working for them that they offered me an incredible supervisor job with lots of perks.
But none of those things was what God had in mind for me.
If I had been smart, and if I had just stopped for a second and listened to the heart of God, I would have realized what God wanted me to do. I do wonder where I would be today if I had just taken some time to listen to Him then. But, I know that God's timing is perfect. I know I am exactly where He wants me to be.
Now, I have three published books. I've cancelled the contract on that "vanity" published book and am working on getting it published electronically, like my other two books. I'm working some of the greatest clients in the country (in my opinion, anyway) providing them with website content. I'm highly esteemed by my clients and my work is sought-after by them.
And I LOVE doing it.
I feel God's blessing on my work now. I work while I'm sitting at my dining room table. While my son plays next to me on the floor. I can stop when I want to, and I can play with him. And some mornings that's what we do. I'm here when my older children get home from school. I'm here when my husband gets home from work. And quite often, he has clean clothes and dinner is on the table for him. Not all the time, of course. But I do my best. And he knows that.
And you know what? Doing what I'm doing now is showcasing my God-given talents. And it's helping my husband incredibly.
It's taken me a long time. But I've figured out what Biblical womanhood means for me. It's following God's plan for my life, using the talents He's blessed me with, and constantly finding myself in the center of His Will.
It's a great place to be.
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