Biblical Womanhood

It took me a long time to arrive at the place where I am today.

I ran away from God's plans for me for a long time.  I'm not even sure why.  God's desires were ultimately my desires for me.  I wanted to be a writer since I was ten years old.  Ever since I penned that first four page story that featured myself, my best friend Heather, and Davy Jones.  I wrote more of those types of stories than I can count.  Then I began writing what I referred to as "Monkees Notes" where I would write about different aspects of The Monkees.  I didn't realize it at the time, of course, but I know now that I was writing  my own version of news articles.

As my tastes grew older, my writing grew too.  I still wrote what is referred to now as "Fan Fiction" featuring myself, my friends and my favorite music groups (New Kids On The Block, dcTalk, etc.), but before long I began writing real fiction.  Stories I created in my mind about different characters that didn't have anything to do with any of my friends.  I wrote all of these stories long-hand.  Each Wednesday night when our youth group had our weekly meeting, I would bring my notebook with me and it would get confiscated as soon as I got on the church van.  It would get passed around and the pages read as we picked up other kids.  On the way home, I would be the last stop on the route, which allowed for all of my friends to have a go at reading the next section of my story.

After I got married (the first time) I wrote my first "book".  I wrote it long-hand as well, but typed it was over three hundred pages.  It was a remarkable love story.  I wanted so badly for it to get published...

But I never even tried to find a publisher.

I think I doubted God.  I thought that my dreams were only dreams and there was no way that I could ever really become someone that got paid for writing.  I continued through college and struggled through my marriage.  I still wrote.  I wrote many stories that had beginnings but no endings.  And then one day I got an idea for a new story and in my mind, it was a story that was begging to be written.

That was Drop By Nine Spoonfuls.

If you've never read Drop By Nine Spoonfuls, you should.  I don't say that because it's mine.  I say it because that was the first book I ever had published.  Yes, it was a "vanity" publisher who I wholeheartedly believe scammed me.  But, it felt good to have someone believe in my abilities to write.  So, I signed the contract and prayed for the best.

But I continued on in my secular job.  I continued working in the world with the "dream" of being a writer in the back of my mind.  You would think that it would be a clue that I was doing the wrong thing when doing copywriting-type work was a part of every job I did.  It wasn't much, but in each position I held, I was constantly being asked to look something over for grammar or write this or that for a newsletter.

I still didn't have any idea what it meant to do what God wanted me to do in my life.  I knew what I loved.  But it took a huge blow for me to get it through my head that God wanted me writing NOW.  It took me walking out on my job one day in the beginning of March before God could get a hold of me.  It was quite a situation.  But He sure did get my attention.

For the longest time I thought that being a Godly woman meant that I did the best I could to help my husband take care of our family.  For me, it meant different things for a while.  There was a season where it meant holding down a full time job because my husband (my first husband) constantly jumped from job to job.

There was a season where it meant staying home and taking care of my house and kids.

There was a season where it meant working a 32-hour a week job doing Christian ministry.

There was a season where it meant that someone was so desperate to have me working for them that they offered me an incredible supervisor job with lots of perks.

But none of those things was what God had in mind for me.

If I had been smart, and if I had just stopped for a second and listened to the heart of God, I would have realized what God wanted me to do.  I do wonder where I would be today if I had just taken some time to listen to Him then.  But, I know that God's timing is perfect.  I know I am exactly where He wants me to be.

Now, I have three published books.  I've cancelled the contract on that "vanity" published book and am working on getting it published electronically, like my other two books.  I'm working some of the greatest clients in the country (in my opinion, anyway) providing them with website content.  I'm highly esteemed by my clients and my work is sought-after by them.

And I LOVE doing it.

I feel God's blessing on my work now.  I work while I'm sitting at my dining room table.  While my son plays next to me on the floor.  I can stop when I want to, and I can play with him.  And some mornings that's what we do.  I'm here when my older children get home from school.  I'm here when my husband gets home from work.  And quite often, he has clean clothes and dinner is on the table for him.  Not all the time, of course.  But I do my best.  And he knows that.

And you know what?  Doing what I'm doing now is showcasing my God-given talents.  And it's helping my husband incredibly.

It's taken me a long time.  But I've figured out what Biblical womanhood means for me.  It's following God's plan for my life, using the talents He's blessed me with, and constantly finding myself in the center of His Will.

It's a great place to be.

The Appeasement Of Prayer

Matthew 25: 35-40 says, "For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’"

We should all be ashamed of ourselves.  

We're all guilty of it, at one time or another.  Someone comes to us with a need and what do we do?  We don't take the time to consider whether or not we can help with the need.  Instead, we assure our brother or sister (or friend, or even STRANGER) that we'll pray for them.  Do we?  I don't know.  Sometimes I suppose we probably do.  If we remember to.  Other times...well, we mean well.  But we forget.  

Since when did the church stop being the church?  And since when did prayer become the substitute for actually doing something to help people who truly need help?  

As I write this post, I'm pretty fired up.  I had the opportunity this past week to witness someone who truly needed help.  She was lost and alone and abandoned by many of the people in her life she thought once loved her.  Her mother approached her church to get help for her and the church turned her down.  

I'm past being angry.

Now, don't get me wrong.  Prayer is important.  I'm not saying it's not.  Prayer is essential in fact.  Especially when you're dealing with the situation this girl is currently in, where her very soul is at stake.  But this church had the opportunity to do more than pray.  They had the opportunity to do more than provide a token gesture as way to appease her for a little while.  This church had the opportunity to change her life.  They had the opportunity to draw her to God; to allow her to climb up in the lap of her Daddy and realize that He really is taking care of her after all.  Even in the midst of the mess.

They chose not to.

I would be embarrassed if that were my church.  I'm so glad it's not.  No...in fact, my church did just the opposite of this church.  I posted a specific need for this girl in the groups that my church has on Facebook.  Within minutes, the need was met.  By the end of the day, the need was surpassed.  And it was done by people who had never even laid eyes on this girl...in fact they don't even know her first name.  

Consider Jesus.  How many people do you think approached Him on a daily basis with needs?  Although there are many mentioned in the Bible, my guess is that there were many more than that.  How many times did Jesus tell them that He would pray for them and then walk away?  

None.

Instead, He met their needs.  He took them in His arms and He loved them.  So, what I can't understand is...why do we think it's okay to simply pat people on the back and tell them that we'll pray for them without once thinking about meeting their needs?  

It's NOT okay.  

When this need was presented to me, I knew that I couldn't meet it.  I didn't have the finances to meet it myself.  But, I knew who COULD meet it.  And I knew who WOULD meet it.  It wasn't hard.  And it only took a few minutes.  

This is something that we as Christians need to change about ourselves.  Jesus Himself said that when you don't take the time to help your brother or sister in need, you will be separated from Him in heaven.  I don't know about you, but I don't want to be separated from Him.  I want to give where I can.  I want to help when I can help.  I want to love people the way that Jesus loves people--without expecting anything in return.  

I keep being led back to the song by Tait, "Talk About Jesus".  It's an incredible song and I wanted to add it here.  I think it really drives my point home.  Take a minute and watch this video.  And then take some steps to get out of your comfort zone and help someone around you who needs help.  Just like Jesus did.

Don't Settle For A Hobo Gospel

Yesterday I was doing my devotions and a verse jumped out at me from the page.  It's found in Acts 17:11: "And the people of Berea were more open-minded than those in Thessalonica, and they listened eagerly to Paul's message.  They searched the Scriptures day after day to check up on Paul and Silas, to see if they were really teaching the truth."

I can't begin to emphasize how important it is to check information out for yourself.  Yesterday one of my Facebook friends posted about an evangelist who had been preaching a word that was contrary to the Word of God, full of evil and hate.  People were following him, as if he was preaching the Word.  I'm sure that happens all of the time in this country, but it doesn't have to if people will search the Scriptures themselves.

I've never had a Pastor tell me that I needed to check up on him and make sure that what he's preaching is solid teaching, directly from the Scriptures.  That is, until I started attending His Tabernacle.  Now, I do check up on our Pastor.  And I've never found an instance where he was wrong.  Sadly, that's not the case for many churches.  And I know...I've been a part of a house where the teaching wasn't exactly 100% up to par.

I've learned many things in my Christian walk during the past 21 years that I've been saved.  And one thing I know for sure is that as Christians, we can't assume that every Pastor, every teacher, every Evangelist is giving us instruction that's from God's Word.  Just because someone gave that person the authority to stand before a group of people and teach/preach, doesn't make that person right.

So, when someone tells you that healing is only done if God wills that it be done...check that out with the Word.  Your faith releases God's healing power.
When someone tells you that speaking in tongues isn't for THIS generation, that it stopped with the church in Acts...check that out with the Word.  God's gifts ARE for this generation, and that includes speaking in tongues.
When someone tells you that there are no such things as Apostles in this day and age of the church...check that out with the Word.  God never said that Apostles would cease to exist.  He said that there were five-fold ministry gifts in the church:  Apostles, Teachers, Pastors, Evangelists and Prophets.

God's not some big secretive God.  He wants us to know things.  He wants us to have the inside scoop.  That's why He gave us His Word in the first place.  Sure, you don't know everything about your life right now.  Maybe you've asked God a hundred questions about where He's taking you on this road you're on now and you don't feel like you're getting any answers.  My guess is that if you knew it all, you probably wouldn't need God to help you through it anymore.  My second guess is that if you knew it all, you wouldn't be able to handle it.  That doesn't mean God is secretive.  It means He's a protective Father.  He's a great Daddy.  And He's written in His Word exactly what His gifts for us are as His children.  He's written in His Word what He has for us.  He's given us His Truth.

Don't settle for teaching that's less than what God's Word says.  Don't settle for a "Hobo Gospel" when you've got the real thing.

New Book Coming Soon: Second Chance

A few years ago, I wrote a book that is based (loosely) on my husband's life.  It touches a bit on the obstacles he overcame as a teenager.  It is a work of "Paranormal Christian Fiction".  The inspiration for this book came to me one night while we were talking and I asked him, "What would you do if you suddenly went back to being a child again?  With all of the knowledge you have now?  But you didn't have me, or the kids?"

Thus, the book was born.

I wanted to test the waters and see how much interest there would be in this work, so I'm posting the first part of the book here.  I still have some re-writing to do, but what you read here is finished and will make up the first few chapters of the book.  My goal is to have this book available in ebook format by the end of the month.

Please comment and let me know what you think!  Thanks.

Chapter One

     “You guys need to make sure you eat all of your dinner.”

     “OK, Dad,” the children chorused.

     Natalie and Kevin looked at each other and smiled.  The family had just finished a long Saturday shopping trip and they were having dinner at Applebees.  It had been a very enjoyable day.  They had shopped at the mall, had lunch, visited WalMart and Target and now were finally having dinner.

     Kevin asked Natalie what she would like for dessert.  He glanced at his wife out of the corner of his eye.  She smiled in approval.  It wasn’t often that they had the extra money to splurge on dessert when they went out to eat.  Somehow though, Kevin always seemed to surprise her at just the right time.  And he always knew what she would want-anything chocolate.  The waitress approached the table and Kevin ordered Natalie a piece of chocolate cake.  He ordered himself a slice of cheesecake with strawberries, along with ice cream for the children.

     The kids, Kelly and Max, busied themselves coloring across the table and Kevin looked at his wife.

     “Have I ever told you that you are the prettiest lady I know?”

     Natalie smiled, obviously enthralled with her husband and loving every second of his compliments.  “Actually, it’s been a while.”

     “Really?  Hmm.  That’s a shame.  You really are the prettiest lady I know.”

     Natalie laughed.  “You sound like your Dad.”

     “You say that all the time.”

     “Well, you do.  You’re like a spitting image of him.  You and your brother both are.”

     Kevin smiled at his wife and gave her a kiss.  He was happy to hear her say that he was a lot like his dad.  Larry Reynolds was one of his heroes.  He was probably the strongest, most amazing man Kevin had ever known.  It was an honor to be told he was like him.

     “Dad, what is a pirate’s favorite letter in the alphabet?”  Kelly asked.  Her eight year old eyes smiled up at him with expectancy.

     Kevin made a big show of thinking really hard and then said, “I don’t know, Kelly.  What is it?”

     “It’s Aaarrrgghh!” she said with delight.  She and Max both laughed a little too loudly.

     The adults laughed silently and Natalie scolded, “OK, keep it down.  We are out in public.”

     “Sorry, Mom,” Max said.  “That was just too funny.”

     Kevin laughed.  “You’re a regular little comedian, young lady.”

     Kelly beamed.  She enjoyed it when people laughed at her.  “Can I sit on your lap, Daddy?”

     “Sure,” Kevin replied.  He pushed back from the table to allow her to come and sit on his lap.  Max reached across the table to hold Natalie’s hand as he colored with his other hand on his placemat.  They were both such good kids.  Very well-behaved, even if they did get a little loud in restaurants once in a while. 

     Kevin wasn’t their biological father, even though he treated them like his own.  Natalie had been married when she was twenty-one years old to another man, Ben.  They were married for seven years, until Ben had an affair that tore their family apart on Christmas Day.  Max had only been two when Ben left.  Kelly was five.  She still remembered it though, and for a while she asked her mom constantly about when her parents were going to get back together.  With Kevin around, Kelly no longer asked that question.  Ben didn’t make any big attempts to see his children on a regular basis.  He was happy living his own life and doing his own thing.  The kids asked about him once in a while but more often than not, they were happy with their Mom and Step-Dad.

     Dinner went off without a hitch.  The kids both ate all of their chicken nuggets and fries and were thrilled with their ice cream for dessert.  When the family had had their fill, they left the restaurant, got in the car, and drove toward home to relax for the night.

     Natalie reached over to touch Kevin’s leg as he drove.  The kids were both nodding off in the backseat.

     “It was a good day, wasn’t it, Sweetheart?” Natalie asked her husband.

     “It was.  I’m surprised I had so much fun.  You know the mall is my absolute favorite place to be.”

     Natalie giggled.  “I know, I know.  You were such a good sport about it.  Thank you for taking us out all day.  I know on days like today you like to relax at home.”

     Kevin shrugged.  “It’s just that I am on the go all the time…I don’t get a whole lot of time at home during the day.  But knowing that it made you guys happy and it was really what you wanted…that makes a huge difference to me and it makes it well worth it.”

     Natalie smiled and leaned over to kiss his cheek. 

     “Aw.  You probably shouldn’t do that while I’m driving.  You make me want a real kiss.”

     “You can have more when we get home, Mr. Reynolds.” 

     Kevin knew that she would give him all the love and attention that he wanted.  Not just that night, but for the rest of his life.  For the millionth time, he realized how blessed he was to have this woman as his wife. 

     They pulled into their garage and as Kevin shut the car off, the interior light turned on.  Whines erupted from the backseat as the kids objected to leaving the car for the comfort of their beds.  Kevin was so happy that Natalie was patient with the children.  It was hard for him to remain patient when they whined, even if they were tired.  He figured that probably had a lot to do with the fact that he hadn’t been around for much of their growing up.  He never saw them when they were babies so the nurturing didn’t come naturally to him.

     “I’ve got them, Honey,” Natalie told him quietly, as she helped the children get of the car and soothed them with her words.  Kevin nodded and left the garage, shutting the door behind them.  When Natalie and the children reached the back door of the house, Kevin was there with the porch light on, holding the door open for them.  The kids were still whining when they all entered the house.

     “Daddy, I don’t want to go to bed,” Max cried as he took his coat off.

     Kevin took a deep breath, willing himself not to raise his voice.  “I know, buddy.  It’s time to go to sleep now, though.  The sooner you go to sleep, the sooner you’ll wake up.”

     “Do we have school tomorrow?” Kelly asked.

     “Yes,” Natalie told her, giving her a hug.  She kissed her daughter on the top of the head and then Kelly practically flung herself into Kevin’s arms.

     “Whoa,” he said, taken off guard.  He was growing used to Kelly’s abrupt displays of affection.  And he was very aware that she needed a “father” in her life, especially since her own biological father was absent a great deal of the time.  Kevin was happy to fill that role with her.  And she seemed to enjoy having him fill it.

     “Good night, Daddy.”

     Kevin smiled.  “Good night sweetheart.  Sleep well.”

     Max hugged his parents as well and both children trotted upstairs to go to bed.

     Natalie and Kevin looked at each other and smiled.  Kevin reached out for his wife.

     “Now, what was that you were saying about giving me a better kiss when we got home?”

     Natalie blushed but came closer to kiss her husband.  The two of them stood that way, in the kitchen, for a long time.  Kevin knew that he had some things to take care of that evening.  He had to take out the trash and balance their checkbook against their bank statement online.  Right at that moment, however, he just wanted to hold his wife.

     When they finally broke apart, Kevin smiled down at her.  “You’re really short, you know that?”

     Natalie smiled and pinched his waist.  “I think you’re too tall.  That’s your problem.  Not mine.”

     “Oh, really?”

     With that, she took off running into the living room and Kevin chased her, tackling her on the couch.  The two of them laughed as Kevin tickled Natalie until her face was red and she was out of breath.  He leaned down and kissed her again.

     “Let’s go to bed,” Natalie whispered wistfully.

     His body agreed with her, but his head was in a different place.  He knew he needed to balance their checkbook after all of the purchase they had made that day.  He smiled.

     “Are you tired?”

     “Well…no.  Not really.”  She still flashed him that grin and winked at him.

     “Okay.  I hate to put you off, but I do need to balance the checkbook first.  Why don’t you get yourself a glass of water and find something on TV.  We can watch TV for a little while after I’m done.  Then go to bed.”

     She put on a pouty face.  “I just want to be with you.”

     “I know, Baby.  I want to be with you too.  We will.  In a little while.”

     Finally, she smiled again.  “Okay.  But I don’t want you to take forever on the computer.”

     “I won’t.  I promise.”

     With that, they stood up and Natalie went out to the kitchen to get a glass of water as her husband had suggested.  Kevin settled down at the computer and got online.  He began looking at one of his favorite sports sites.  As Natalie passed through the office on her way back to the living room, she eyed what he was doing and gave him a questioning look.

     “What?  I’m just checking things out.  I’ll be right in.”

     “All right.”

     Kevin got on the banking site as Natalie settled in on the couch. 

Chapter Two

     It was quiet in the house that evening.  It was a school night and both of the kids needed to be on the bus the next morning at 7:15.  The sounds of a brand-new reality show emanated through the house as Natalie laughed at their antics and Kevin plugged away on the computer.

     Kevin was fairly happy with his life.  The family was living in a nice home in Craning, NY.  They were renting the house, but it was much better than the apartment Natalie had been renting in Elkland when they had met just over a year ago.

     Natalie had separated from her first husband two years before they were officially divorced.  She had been in a few bad relationships during that time.  Once her last relationship ended, Natalie decided that she was more interested in doing God’s will for her life than doing things her way.  Her first serious boyfriend after her marriage had ended was very verbally abusive and had begun to be physically abusive.  She ended the relationship soon after the physical abuse began, however the effects of the verbal and emotional abuse lasted a very long time.  Her second and last relationship before meeting Kevin was ended when Natalie found out that the man was secretly married to another woman.  She had been through a lot of hardships and a lot of pain.  When Natalie told Kevin about her past relationships, he worried that she might have problems trusting him.  Either through her own strength, or by the grace of God, she never did.

     After her last disappointing relationship ended, Natalie began focusing on getting her divorce.  She realized she had put it off long enough, and that she actually had no business dating anyone as long as she was still legally married, regardless of how long it had been.  Once the divorce was complete, she started writing letters to her future husband.  She knew in her heart that she would be married again.  She had so much love to give and her two children had been left almost fatherless.  Ben, her ex-husband rarely had anything to do with them.  They had a visitation order in place that allowed him to have both of the children for overnight visits every other weekend but he didn’t take advantage of that at all.  It was apparent that he only wanted his own life.

     As Natalie wrote the letters, she focused on God and what he had planned for her life.  She began by introducing herself to this man she didn’t know yet.  As she poured her heart out to him, however, she began to get to know him very well.  So well in fact, that she knew when she finally did meet him, she would know him instinctively.  Natalie told herself that if she met someone and asked herself, “What would my future husband think of him?” she would know that man couldn’t be her future husband.  She resolved to wait until she met someone and when she asked herself that question, her heart’s answer would be, “Maybe this is him.”  Before long, she fell in love with a man she had never even met.

     It was no surprise to her one day when God directed her to a Christian dating site.  As inexplicable as it was, Natalie often heard God’s voice and this was one of those times.  She even knew what she would find when she got on the site.  She knew she was looking for a man who lived close by, who had blue eyes and whose profile also contained contact information.  Natalie didn’t have the money to subscribe to the service at that point.

     Lo and behold, there he was.  Beautiful blue eyes and brown hair.  He lived in James City, which was only an hour away.  Deciding to take a chance, Natalie sent Kevin a message on an instant messenger.

     The next night, they talked via instant messenger for two hours.  They arranged a date for that weekend and talked on the phone every night until they met in person on Saturday.

     It was instant attraction for them both.  Natalie had baked him cookies and since she was a published author, she also offered him a copy of her first novel.  Kevin showed up with three white roses.  She was very touched by his thoughtfulness.  They went to a local hockey game and spent the entire time talking with each other, while they completely ignored the game.

     They had had a whirlwind romance.

     A few months later, they were married.

     “Honey,” Natalie called to her husband.  “Are you coming in soon?”

     “Yeah, in a second,” Kevin answered, feeling a little bit annoyed.  He was immersed in the checkbook, comparing what was recorded to the purchases on their bank’s website.  As he searched, he noticed a discrepancy that explained why they were overdrawn by $25.  It was a debit card purchase from a craft store in the mall.  Kevin could barely believe his eyes when he saw the amount that was spent.  $110!  He rubbed his head in frustration.  How does one spend $110 on craft supplies? he thought. He could feel the anger burning up inside of him.  Natalie was a stay at home mom as well as a published author.  She had published her first book a few years before she and Kevin met.  Now, she had a few more projects she was working on.  It wasn’t surprising that Natalie frequented the craft store.  She was constantly needing more writing supplies and things for scrap booking, which she also loved to do.  But, to make such a large purchase without recording it in the checkbook was ridiculous.

     Now we’re going to have fees for bounced checks, Kevin thought.  The more he stewed, the more angry he became. 

     He took a deep breath and went into the living room.  His wife sat on the couch in her pajamas.  Her feet were tucked under and she had put her hair in a ponytail.  She wore her glasses instead of her contacts at night to give her eyes a break.  Kevin thought she looked cute sitting there smiling at him.  But, he quickly dismissed that thought to present the matter at hand.

     Her smile quickly disappeared when she saw the look on his face. 

     “Do you know what you did?”

     She rolled her eyes and looked back at the TV.  “No, but I’ll bet you’re going to tell me.”

     “You went to HC Fabrics and didn’t put what you spent in the checkbook.

     Natalie clapped a hand to her forehead.  “Oh, no.  I did, didn’t I?”  She knew then why he was upset.  Kevin had just started a new sales job after losing a truck driving job and being out of work for almost a month.  They were getting back on track financially but it had been difficult.  Her mistake was going to cost them money.

     “Yes, you did,” Kevin snapped.

     “How much did they charge us in fees?”

     “Don’t know yet.”

     Natalie was obviously upset about her mistake.  She knew Kevin worked hard.  He had big dreams that he wanted to see accomplished.  She did too, but he was the one who worked outside the home.

     “Honey, I can’t believe I forgot that.  I’m so sorry.”

     “Yeah, you’re always sorry.  It doesn’t put the money back in our account though.”  Kevin turned and left the room.

     Natalie sat there a minute before going after him.  He had sat back down at the computer.

     “You know, I can take a lot of that stuff back.  It’s not stuff I desperately need to have right now.”

     “Just forget it,” he replied.  “You’ve done enough.”

     “Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?”

     “It means that I work very hard to bring money into this house.  And then you forget you spent it.”

     “Kevin, I made a mistake.  I’m sorry.”

     “Yeah, I know.  Maybe you should be spending more time at home and less time in the mall.”

     “Wait a second.  My family is very important to me.  You are all well taken care of.  I do everything around here and you barely lift a finger.”

     “Maybe you should go back to work.  That might give you some insight into how valuable money is.”

     That comment stung.  Natalie had been hesitant to quit her job.  However, when they sat down and looked at how much they were paying for child care, Kevin saw that Natalie would really be more valuable to them if she stayed home.  That was five months ago.  Now, Natalie loved staying home.  She was able to be there for the children after school and do almost all of the housework.  She was also able to spend more time with Kevin before he left for the day.

     “Why do you have to be so mean?” she asked before the tears fell.

     “Oh, here we go with the guilt trip.  Go ahead and cry.  I’m going to bed.”  With that, Kevin got up and stomped up the stairs to their bedroom.

     Natalie just sat down on the floor and cried.  She hated it when he got so angry.  It was stupid.  He always hurt her so much with his words when he got like that.  What was she supposed to do?  Apologize for being human?  Okay, so it wasn’t the first time she’d forgotten to record something in their checkbook.  But instead of working out a solution to something that was obviously a weakness in her, Kevin got mad.

     She got up and went back to the living room to turn the lights and television off.  Maybe if she gave him a few minutes alone they could talk rationally.  She went upstairs and went through her bedtime routine before going into their bedroom.  The lights were all off and Kevin was in bed.  Natalie slipped into bed and he rolled away from her.  She could feel the tears again but held them back because she knew they only upset him more.

     Taking a few deep breaths, she touched his back.  “Kevin, please talk to me.”

     No answer.  She knew he fell asleep fast and was often able to sleep even when they had arguments.

     She tried again.  “Kev?”

     Still no response.  The tears fell freely then and she rolled over to cry quietly into her pillow.  She absolutely hated it when Kevin did this.  She knew he would probably sleep like a baby while she tossed and turned all night.  Natalie didn’t know why he did this to her.  He knew how much it bothered her.  It didn’t seem to matter to him.  And what irked her even more was the fact that she knew he was going to wake up and act like everything was normal.  Then she would be blamed for “keeping the fight going.”

     “Are you going to do that all night?” he finally asked.

     “Will you talk to me?”

     “I’m done talking.  I’m tired.  I want to go to sleep.”

     “That’s going to help me a lot.  Thanks.”

     With that, Kevin threw off the covers and grabbed his pillow.  “I’m not staying here and listening to that garbage.  Cry to yourself.  Not to me.”  With that, he slammed out the door and Natalie sobbed even harder.

Chapter Three

     Who does she think she is, anyway?  Guilt-tripping me like that.  She’s the one who screwed up.  Let her cry all night.  See if I care.

     Kevin rolled over as he tried to get comfortable on the couch.  It was a difficult place to sleep.  But anything was better than sleeping with her at that point.

     He tossed and turned for a while, willing himself to fall asleep.  It was so hard not to go to sleep beside his wife.  Every night before they went to sleep, Natalie would rub his back until soft snores came from his side of the bed.  Kevin had grown accustomed to those nightly backrubs.  Going without them was difficult.

     Finally, Kevin felt himself drifting off.  Suddenly, someone turned on the light.

     “Hey!” he yelled, sitting up.  He squinted in the brightness that filled the room.  But, he could clearly see the light wasn’t coming from one of the lamps.  “What the…”

     “Be calm,” a voice told him.  The brightness toned down and Kevin saw what looked like a small star near the living room window.  “You have much to learn.”

     Kevin sat back and stared at the star.  He knew he must be dreaming.

     “You are a very blessed man, Kevin Reynolds.  You have come through many trials in your life.  The ones you face now seem daunting.  You don’t appreciate what you have.”

     “Who are you?”  Kevin’s voice came out in a whisper.

     “Silence!  This is not the time for you to ask questions.  This is the time for you to listen and to learn.  There is much you don’t understand.  You know in your heart that I AM.”

     Kevin thought that was a strange sentence.  He wanted to ask, You are what?  But he didn’t.

     “The life that you know today is going to be removed from you.  But you will not die.  You will return to the life of your childhood before this night is over.  You will lose some, but you will gain much.  You will learn what you need to learn.  You will appreciate what you no longer have.”

     When there was silence for a couple of seconds, Kevin said, “I don’t understand.”

     “You will.  It will all be clear in the morning.”

     Suddenly, a sound like a loud vacuum filled the room and Kevin covered his ears.  He watched as the star seemed to disappear and the room became dark again.  He realized he was sitting up on the couch and covered in sweat.  He threw his blanket onto the floor and settled back onto his pillow.

     What a weird dream, he thought.  What was that all about?  He didn’t have time to ponder long before sleep overcame him.

Chapter Four

     “Kevin?  Kevin, wake up.”

     Kevin snuggled down under the covers.  “Five more minutes,” he muttered in a cracked voice.

     “Absolutely not. Up this minute.  You’ll be late.”

     Slowly Kevin opened his eyes, expecting to see Natalie above him.  He wanted to apologize for his anger the night before.  He hated their fights.  The face he saw was not Natalie’s.

     It was his mother’s.

Growing Down: The Secrets to Becoming Like a Child

Have you ever wondered what Jesus really meant when He told His disciples that unless they became like little children, they would never enter the Kingdom Of Heaven?

God inspired me to write this book a few years ago.  It was only recently that I was able to update it and offer it electronically.  Growing Down breaks Jesus' instruction down into simple terms that anyone can understand.  It is the perfect tool for a new believer who wants to please God in everything he or she says and does.  It's also a great tool for anyone who wants to grow in their walk with God and just get back to the basics.

At the end of the book, I offer my readers a sneak peak at Drop By Nine Spoonfuls, which will be available as an e book very soon.

Download your copy of Growing Down:  The Secrets to Becoming Like a Child today!

Lessons Learned

I have learned so much during the past few months.

I haven't been very verbal about it (and I'm not even sure I'm going to share this blog on Facebook, for that reason), but we've been dealing with bed bugs since the middle of May when our old neighbors moved out and left behind an infestation that soon became our problem.  It was a rough road, complete with many types of do-it-yourself treatments, lots of cleaning, lots of tossing stuff out, and lots of dust.

And it's over now.

I've learned that, although I'm not as bad as one of those people you see on the show Hoarders, I do have many things that I can stand to get rid of.  We downsized so much of our crap, it wasn't funny.  A ton of stuff from our basement got thrown out.  A ton of stuff from our bedrooms got thrown out.  I learned how to live happy on very little.  In the end, we were cycling through five or so outfits each, in an attempt to stop from doing laundry constantly.

I've learned the value of a clean home.  The final DIY treatment we did was using DE on the floors, in the dressers, under/on the beds.  It was basically everywhere.  You couldn't walk through the house without shoes on and not get your feet absolutely disgusting.  I want my home to be a clean place for my children.

Along with that, I've learned the value of doing just regular housework and how good it feels to do it.  I spent so much time doing bed bug work that I didn't have time to do the regular stuff you do when you are just cleaning your house.  In fact, I couldn't do much housework at all because of the dust.  I didn't want to pick it up, so I couldn't vacuum the carpets.  I couldn't sweep the floor much.

We are now in our new apartment and I just love it here.  It's much smaller but it's very cozy.  It's big enough for our family.  God has been so good to us in bringing us here.  He was so good by providing that Ehrlich exterminator who just happened to run into Craig on his route one day and told him how we could treat our stuff before we move to kill any bed bugs that might be left after the DE application.

Life is getting back to normal as we slowly continue to work on putting our house together.  I'm writing again.  I'm getting ready to publish my first e book by the end of this week.  I got a ton of direct assignments in the past 24 hours and one of them is worth $168.  So, things are getting back to the way they should be and I'm so happy that we're finally free of that house.

It feels so good to finally be home.  

Last Post Before Moving

This is my last blog before we move to a new apartment.  We've lived here for three years.  I have to say that for the most part, those three years were pretty good.  Although the past few months have been challenging, this little duplex we've called home has been a nice place to live.

The house we're moving to is still a half a house.  It's smaller in size but I think it will be better for our family, at least for a little while.  It will be nice to not have to deal with the "issues" we've been dealing with for the past few months.  It will be nice to be able to sit and write for a few hours at a time without interruption.  It will be nice to end my evenings relaxing with my husband instead of doing other things to manage problems in the house.

Still, I'm a little bit nostalgic as I think about all that we've been through here.  This was the place where Craig and I first kind of got a handle on taking care of our family the way we needed to.  He got a good job when we came here to live.  This was where we moved when I was pregnant with Caleb.  And this is the home where we brought our baby home for the first time.  We've had three Christmases here.  We've had one Thanksgiving here.  We've had countless fires in the backyard, roasting marshmallows and making smores.  We've had a lot of laughter here.  We've had some sorrow here.

I'm getting ready to unplug the Internet so I can go to the new apartment, where I'm hoping Time Warner won't take too long to show up and turn on our Internet, cable and phone there.  This is only a temporary situation.  And although I really do like the new apartment, I'm looking forward to the day when we finally have a house to call our own.  A house that we choose, to finish raising our family in.  This is a new chapter of our lives, that begins in less than 24 hours.  I know God has great plans in store for our family.

He always does.