I think back to the beginning of March when I took that first step out of Dr. Addams' office. It took everything within me to just keep on walking. I was shaking and nervous and...I felt like I was going to faint. I had never done anything like that before. I've always been a good worker. I've always done my best to exceed the expectations of my manager. I just...I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't manage facing yet another "scolding" for doing something I didn't do, or for allowing something to happen that I had no control over. I'd done so every day for two months by that time. And I had had enough. For my own sanity, I had to get out of that place.
And then I came home. I walked in the house and it was quiet. Caleb was at the sitter's house and the older kids hadn't come home from school yet. In a panic, I sent out a flurry of resumes, despite the fact that Craig told me just to go home and relax and get myself together for a few hours before I had to go pick Caleb up. I felt like I was in a downward spiral and I didn't know what to do. I felt like I had just financially doomed my family.
And then...in steps God.
I was reminded in those moments that I was His kid. My prosperity didn't depend on whether or not Dr. Addams gave me a paycheck. That fact was further enforced a few weeks later when Dr. Addams decided not to pay me my final paycheck right after we just spent all of our money on a minivan. God knew exactly what I needed in those moments. And He immediately began showering me with His love in a way that only He can.
And now...here I am. It's almost three months later. I've been a stay at home mom, but I've also been a child of the King who has been revitalized and reminded of the calling that's been placed on my life. God instilled in me a gift to write. He has been building this passion in me since I was ten years old. Ever since I wrote my first two-page story about The Monkees, I had a dream to be a writer. God took my decision to leave that stifling job and turned it into an opportunity to bring my dreams closer to life than they have ever been before.
I've been writing for a company who provides SEO content to businesses for online distribution. I've written everything from costume descriptions to website content for dental offices. I've learned about air conditioning and plumbing and adult autism. And I've found that the more I write, the more I want to write.
On the days when the writing boards have been slow, or when the clients who've selected me to write specifically for them haven't had any work, I've been able to devote time to re-typing books I've written in the past. It's come to my attention (thanks to the Family Life Network) that publishing e books is a very lucrative, not to mention cheap, way to get your books into the hands of people who will pay to read them. And with the transition of the world into e everything, it's easy to see that e publishing really is the way to go. So, I'm working even more toward my dream.
And...as if that wasn't enough, I've been offered an opportunity to provide transcription services for a therapist who practices in Binghamton. It's only a few documents a week, but it will be a big help financially on those weeks when the job board is slow.
I am incredibly blessed. I am blessed, and I am favored. I'm so thankful for God's work in my life. I'm thankful that He picked me up when I "fell down" back in March. I'm thankful that He is the One taking care of me. I have no reason to fear. I'm a King's kid.
I'm still in awe of what is happening in my life right now. Craig asked me tonight if I was going to get "antsy" and want to return to a job outside the home once Caleb goes to school. He was incredibly relieved when my response was "No way!". That made me happy.
It's not that I've found my calling...I've just realized that I needed to answer it.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Feedback Is Appreciated
I am very interested in feedback from anyone who is willing to give me some.
I am currently involved in a few writing projects. One of them is a devotional book I wrote several years ago. The title is: Growing Down: The Secrets To Becoming Like A Child In A Very Grown Up World. I am in the process of getting this book ready for publication into the e-book world (Nook, Kindle, etc) and I thought I'd include a chapter here to whet the appetite of my potential audience and get some feedback. So, here it is! Feel free to leave me a message here on the post or just a comment or message on Facebook.
Enjoy!
Chapter Three: Children Appreciate The Little Things In Life
When is the last time you stopped and smelled the roses? If you close your eyes, can you imagine a rose? What color is it? What do the petals look like? Is it in full bloom? Is it a long-stemmed rose or a sweetheart rose? Does it have thorns? Leaves? Is it in a vase? Did it come from a store or from your garden?
If you’re like most people, you’re thinking, “What’s the big deal? It’s just a rose.” That’s because you’re not yet thinking like a child. Children notice and appreciate the little things in life.
I used to live only a few blocks from my parents’ house. Back then, it took us three minutes to get there by car. My husband’s long legs could get him there in ten minutes and my short ones could carry me there in fifteen. I can remember shortly after Cassidy’s second birthday, we decided that it would be fun to take a walk to Grandma’s house. The two of us were home alone and I thought, why not? We donned our jackets, I grabbed my purse and the diaper bag, and out the door we went.
Those fifteen minutes stretched into twenty, then thirty, then forty-five...their house wasn’t even in sight yet! It wasn’t completely because Cassidy had legs that were much shorter than mine. Sure, it took her longer to walk places, but the reason it took us almost an hour to get to Grandma’s house was because Cassidy kept stopping to admire the beauty of the creation that was all around her.
She marveled at the sticks she found. She picked up each one and carried it with her. In her other hand, she was gaining a sizeable collection of rocks. Before long, both of my pockets were full of rocks, and both of my hands were full of sticks. That way, Cassidy could concentrate on picking “flowers” (dandelions) for Grandma.
She stopped to pet a dog.
She stopped to admire a bright blue pick-up truck.
She sat and watched the water of a fountain as it traced crazy designs in the air.
She chased a squirrel.
She ran through a sprinkler.
She peered into a store window.
My daughter was enjoying the little things in her life. She was appreciating everything that was around her, not taking advantage of anything.
Sure, we both had handfuls of sticks and pockets full of rocks. The dandelions were staining her hands green and yellow. Yet, through all of this, Cassidy was blessed.
Applying This Principle To Your Life
We’ve talked about living a fun-filled life. If you’ve put that principle into action, you have no doubt noticed a change in yourself. Have you noticed any blessings?
As humans, we tend to notice the big blessings but we overlook the small ones. This is unfortunate because we have a great-big God who loves to work in big and in small ways to achieve great-big results. We tend to send our prayers to heaven much like we order fast food. And then we expect fast food-type answers. God doesn’t work that way. God is weaving an intricate pattern into your life that cannot be achieved through short cuts.
God doesn’t put tiny blessings into our lives so that we will ignore them while we wait for the big blessings. We have conditioned ourselves that “bigger is better”. This isn’t the case with God. It is God’s style to choose the underdog to fulfill his plans. He chose one man (Abraham) to build an entire race of people! And then, he called that entire race his chosen ones.
A day does not go by in your life when God does not bless you. Sometimes we miss blessings because we already have in mind what we think God is going to do for us. And then, when God chooses another way to bless us, we may miss it entirely or even become angry at God for not doing it our way.
What are some blessings God has given you today?
I’m blessed...
When my two-year-old son smiles at me.
When my husband pours my coffee in the morning.
When the laundry is done.
When my best friend calls just to chat.
When I get somewhere on time.
When Cassidy does the dishes.
When Matthew leads our family prayer time before we eat dinner.
Sure, there are big blessings. Like, when the budget balances. Or when God heals someone of an illness. We should definitely notice those and give praise to the God who made them possible. But when we ignore the small blessings, we’re missing a major part of what God has in store for us.
God is there when...
The rain holds off until you make it to your car.
A friend happens to stop by on the night you really need help getting the kids ready for bed.
A loved one is thinking of you and whispers your name in prayer.
You get “lost” when you’re driving, only to find out you’ve actually found a better way.
God wants to permeate every part of our lives. Oh, how important it is for us to let him fill our lives with his love and to notice those small blessings.
I can’t help but think back to the look that was on my mother’s face when Cassidy presented her with that big bouquet of dandelions. The joy I saw there reminded me of the joy that our Heavenly Father must feel when we notice his blessings blooming throughout our lives.
I think I’ll go out and pick some flowers with my daughter.
“How we praise God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we belong to Christ.” (Ephesians 1:3)
I am currently involved in a few writing projects. One of them is a devotional book I wrote several years ago. The title is: Growing Down: The Secrets To Becoming Like A Child In A Very Grown Up World. I am in the process of getting this book ready for publication into the e-book world (Nook, Kindle, etc) and I thought I'd include a chapter here to whet the appetite of my potential audience and get some feedback. So, here it is! Feel free to leave me a message here on the post or just a comment or message on Facebook.
Enjoy!
Chapter Three: Children Appreciate The Little Things In Life
When is the last time you stopped and smelled the roses? If you close your eyes, can you imagine a rose? What color is it? What do the petals look like? Is it in full bloom? Is it a long-stemmed rose or a sweetheart rose? Does it have thorns? Leaves? Is it in a vase? Did it come from a store or from your garden?
If you’re like most people, you’re thinking, “What’s the big deal? It’s just a rose.” That’s because you’re not yet thinking like a child. Children notice and appreciate the little things in life.
I used to live only a few blocks from my parents’ house. Back then, it took us three minutes to get there by car. My husband’s long legs could get him there in ten minutes and my short ones could carry me there in fifteen. I can remember shortly after Cassidy’s second birthday, we decided that it would be fun to take a walk to Grandma’s house. The two of us were home alone and I thought, why not? We donned our jackets, I grabbed my purse and the diaper bag, and out the door we went.
Those fifteen minutes stretched into twenty, then thirty, then forty-five...their house wasn’t even in sight yet! It wasn’t completely because Cassidy had legs that were much shorter than mine. Sure, it took her longer to walk places, but the reason it took us almost an hour to get to Grandma’s house was because Cassidy kept stopping to admire the beauty of the creation that was all around her.
She marveled at the sticks she found. She picked up each one and carried it with her. In her other hand, she was gaining a sizeable collection of rocks. Before long, both of my pockets were full of rocks, and both of my hands were full of sticks. That way, Cassidy could concentrate on picking “flowers” (dandelions) for Grandma.
She stopped to pet a dog.
She stopped to admire a bright blue pick-up truck.
She sat and watched the water of a fountain as it traced crazy designs in the air.
She chased a squirrel.
She ran through a sprinkler.
She peered into a store window.
My daughter was enjoying the little things in her life. She was appreciating everything that was around her, not taking advantage of anything.
Sure, we both had handfuls of sticks and pockets full of rocks. The dandelions were staining her hands green and yellow. Yet, through all of this, Cassidy was blessed.
Applying This Principle To Your Life
We’ve talked about living a fun-filled life. If you’ve put that principle into action, you have no doubt noticed a change in yourself. Have you noticed any blessings?
As humans, we tend to notice the big blessings but we overlook the small ones. This is unfortunate because we have a great-big God who loves to work in big and in small ways to achieve great-big results. We tend to send our prayers to heaven much like we order fast food. And then we expect fast food-type answers. God doesn’t work that way. God is weaving an intricate pattern into your life that cannot be achieved through short cuts.
God doesn’t put tiny blessings into our lives so that we will ignore them while we wait for the big blessings. We have conditioned ourselves that “bigger is better”. This isn’t the case with God. It is God’s style to choose the underdog to fulfill his plans. He chose one man (Abraham) to build an entire race of people! And then, he called that entire race his chosen ones.
A day does not go by in your life when God does not bless you. Sometimes we miss blessings because we already have in mind what we think God is going to do for us. And then, when God chooses another way to bless us, we may miss it entirely or even become angry at God for not doing it our way.
What are some blessings God has given you today?
I’m blessed...
When my two-year-old son smiles at me.
When my husband pours my coffee in the morning.
When the laundry is done.
When my best friend calls just to chat.
When I get somewhere on time.
When Cassidy does the dishes.
When Matthew leads our family prayer time before we eat dinner.
Sure, there are big blessings. Like, when the budget balances. Or when God heals someone of an illness. We should definitely notice those and give praise to the God who made them possible. But when we ignore the small blessings, we’re missing a major part of what God has in store for us.
God is there when...
The rain holds off until you make it to your car.
A friend happens to stop by on the night you really need help getting the kids ready for bed.
A loved one is thinking of you and whispers your name in prayer.
You get “lost” when you’re driving, only to find out you’ve actually found a better way.
God wants to permeate every part of our lives. Oh, how important it is for us to let him fill our lives with his love and to notice those small blessings.
I can’t help but think back to the look that was on my mother’s face when Cassidy presented her with that big bouquet of dandelions. The joy I saw there reminded me of the joy that our Heavenly Father must feel when we notice his blessings blooming throughout our lives.
I think I’ll go out and pick some flowers with my daughter.
“How we praise God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we belong to Christ.” (Ephesians 1:3)
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Self-Scrutiny
I am completely fascinated by the book I am reading right now for my devotion time. It's called Crazy Love: Overwhelmed By A Relentless God by Francis Chan. If you are not familiar with it, you need to stop reading this blog right now and get a copy. It's available on all e-devices as well as in print form.
From the moment I downloaded this book onto my Nook, I have been captivated and challenged by the incredible truths that it holds. The author practically dares you to delve deeper into your relationship with God. I am enjoying it so much in fact, from the very beginning of reading it, I have made myself read each chapter at least two times before moving on to the next chapter. And sometimes the truth of a single paragraph is so intense and so deep, that I have had to put the book down for the day and just medidate on what God would use those words to speak to my heart. This book is rich with Scripture and exploding with truth.
Right now, I'm working on getting through chapter 8, which is entitled "Profile Of The Obsessed". This is my second time reading this chapter and I think I'm going to proceed even slower this time so I the complete idea of what God is saying to me.
That word OBSESSED kind of makes us feel uncomfortable, doesn't it? It comes with a negative connotation and most of the time, it indicates an unhealthy desire. The definition of OBSESSED is: To have the mind excessively preoccupied with a single emotion or topic. The chapter goes on to explore what it means to be OBSESSED with Jesus. And I have to wonder to myself, Am I?
The answer is, I don't think I have been obsessed with Jesus. I'm not sure I ever have been. Well...OK. I take that back. There probably was a time, when I was a teenager, that I was obsessed with Jesus. But that obsession was built upon something entirely different than what I'm talking about right now. I had the priviledge of being a part of the most amazing youth group in the history of the church world. Those kids were my friends. My BEST friends. At the time, I lived to be with them. And the one common thing that we all had was that we had accepted Jesus as our Savior. My obsession with Jesus at that time was built upon the fact that the group I was a part of was also obsessed with Jesus because, well, Jesus was pretty cool.
Now that I've matured in both my relationship with God and in the way that I see who He is to me, I have a deep desire for that obsession. I'm not talking about how God has blessed me. If you follow my blog, you already know that He's blessed me more than I can tell you. But, I'm talking about being truly OBSESSED with God because of WHO HE IS. And not because of WHAT HE HAS DONE. I want to strive to be completely in love with Jesus. I want Jesus to be the Lover of my soul. I want Him to be the reason why I get up in the morning. I want the time that I get to spend with Him to be the most precious time of my day. I want every cent that I give to further the Kingdom of God to be akin to the amount of money you spend when you're shopping for the perfect engagement ring. The amount doesn't matter. The heart is what matters. And you'd go above and beyond for that person because of the deepness of your love for them, no matter what the cost. I want to have days where I just sit in praise to my King. Days when my TO-DO list goes undone because, aside from caring for my son, I just could not drag myself away from His amazing presence.
THAT is the kind of OBSESSION I am after. And I am being completely transparent before you all when I tell you that right now, I don't have that. But it's what I crave. And it's what I'm begging God for. I want the desire for that kind of OBSESSION with my Jesus to be all-encompassing. I want it to overtake every other emotion, feeling or thought that I might have.
And as I sit here typing this, my question to you is, when is the last time you took part in some real spiritual self-scrutiny? Is the type of OBSESSION I'm talking about appealing to you? Even if you don't have it right now, if you want it, it's available for you.
I don't know about you, but I want ALL that God has for me. Every last bit of it. And I will not rest, I will not stop asking Him for that desire for OBSESSION for Jesus.
Who's with me?
From the moment I downloaded this book onto my Nook, I have been captivated and challenged by the incredible truths that it holds. The author practically dares you to delve deeper into your relationship with God. I am enjoying it so much in fact, from the very beginning of reading it, I have made myself read each chapter at least two times before moving on to the next chapter. And sometimes the truth of a single paragraph is so intense and so deep, that I have had to put the book down for the day and just medidate on what God would use those words to speak to my heart. This book is rich with Scripture and exploding with truth.
Right now, I'm working on getting through chapter 8, which is entitled "Profile Of The Obsessed". This is my second time reading this chapter and I think I'm going to proceed even slower this time so I the complete idea of what God is saying to me.
That word OBSESSED kind of makes us feel uncomfortable, doesn't it? It comes with a negative connotation and most of the time, it indicates an unhealthy desire. The definition of OBSESSED is: To have the mind excessively preoccupied with a single emotion or topic. The chapter goes on to explore what it means to be OBSESSED with Jesus. And I have to wonder to myself, Am I?
The answer is, I don't think I have been obsessed with Jesus. I'm not sure I ever have been. Well...OK. I take that back. There probably was a time, when I was a teenager, that I was obsessed with Jesus. But that obsession was built upon something entirely different than what I'm talking about right now. I had the priviledge of being a part of the most amazing youth group in the history of the church world. Those kids were my friends. My BEST friends. At the time, I lived to be with them. And the one common thing that we all had was that we had accepted Jesus as our Savior. My obsession with Jesus at that time was built upon the fact that the group I was a part of was also obsessed with Jesus because, well, Jesus was pretty cool.
Now that I've matured in both my relationship with God and in the way that I see who He is to me, I have a deep desire for that obsession. I'm not talking about how God has blessed me. If you follow my blog, you already know that He's blessed me more than I can tell you. But, I'm talking about being truly OBSESSED with God because of WHO HE IS. And not because of WHAT HE HAS DONE. I want to strive to be completely in love with Jesus. I want Jesus to be the Lover of my soul. I want Him to be the reason why I get up in the morning. I want the time that I get to spend with Him to be the most precious time of my day. I want every cent that I give to further the Kingdom of God to be akin to the amount of money you spend when you're shopping for the perfect engagement ring. The amount doesn't matter. The heart is what matters. And you'd go above and beyond for that person because of the deepness of your love for them, no matter what the cost. I want to have days where I just sit in praise to my King. Days when my TO-DO list goes undone because, aside from caring for my son, I just could not drag myself away from His amazing presence.
THAT is the kind of OBSESSION I am after. And I am being completely transparent before you all when I tell you that right now, I don't have that. But it's what I crave. And it's what I'm begging God for. I want the desire for that kind of OBSESSION with my Jesus to be all-encompassing. I want it to overtake every other emotion, feeling or thought that I might have.
And as I sit here typing this, my question to you is, when is the last time you took part in some real spiritual self-scrutiny? Is the type of OBSESSION I'm talking about appealing to you? Even if you don't have it right now, if you want it, it's available for you.
I don't know about you, but I want ALL that God has for me. Every last bit of it. And I will not rest, I will not stop asking Him for that desire for OBSESSION for Jesus.
Who's with me?
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Testimony
When God comes through, He really comes through. His faithfulness is amazing. And He is always true to His Word.
This past Sunday, we attended church and I was given another opportunity to, yet again, allow God to show me His faithfulness. Craig and I are tithers. God has always taken care of our family when we were in need. And every single bump in the road that we've encountered has been a time for God to prove to us that He is our Provider.
At the end of the sermon this week, Pastor Spencer presented a piece of the vision for our church, which was to put up a beautiful sign on the building with our church name on it. I knew how much we had left in our account because I had just updated our checkbook that morning. But I distinctly heard God telling me to give almost all of what we had left. Before leaving the sanctuary, I found an envelope and wrote it out for the amount that God told me to give. Pastor prayed for a quick harvest for those who gave that morning for the sign. I agreed with that prayer. After all, we were going to need money to get through the week. But God is our Provider. If He wanted me to give that amount, He must have a plan.
Amazing things happen when you just do what God tells you to do. It's an incredible feeling just to step out on faith and KNOW that God will take care of you. This is a concept that means nothing to the world. My mind automatically came up with a list of things that I could do with that money this week. I thought about the stuff that I still needed to buy from the store. I thought, "What if Craig needs more money for gas before he gets paid again?" And then the suggestion came: "Well, I wish we could give. But we're just one of those families that can't give right now. God understands that." What if I had listened to those thoughts in my mind? What if I had walked out of church that day and not followed what God had directed me to do?
This afternoon, I watched as God turned that small seed into a BIG harvest. He took the small amount I gave that morning and multiplied it x10 right back into our checking account. I am still kind of reeling from the shock. But I'm not surprised. As I continue to be faithful to do what God tells me to do, I continue to see His power and provision amplified in our family. I think back to so many other times when God was faithful.
After I got divorced, I began praying for my future husband. I spent time writing love letters to him, a man I didn't even know. Yet, I believed that God had someone for me. Little by little, God began revealing to me little tidbits about the man He had picked out to be my husband; so much so, that by the time I would meet him, I would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was my future husband. And when I met Craig, I knew.
God provided Craig with a job when he desperately needed one just to put a roof over our heads.
God answered my prayer for a baby by blessing me exactly how I asked Him to, in the year 2009, and He gave us Caleb. While I was pregnant, it was discovered that I had a 10cm tumor in my uterus. God healed that tumor and by the next ultrasound, it was nowhere to be seen. That little boy is a living testimony to the greatness of our God.
God provided us with a van when we needed one before Caleb was born. And He provided us again with a van when the first one was on it's last wheels.
When my dryer broke, God knew I had to have a dryer in order to do laundry for six people. I asked God for a dryer and then I thanked Him for a dryer. That week, God provided my dryer.
There are so many blessings I could list. I never want to lose sight of them. There is absolutely NO REASON not to trust that God has everything in His control. I have learned so much about faith and about trusting God to do what He says He will do.
There's another blessing in the works from my Heavenly Daddy. I'm not going to disclose it here right now. But you'll be hearing about it. Because God is good. His plans are perfect.
And because I'm His kid.
This past Sunday, we attended church and I was given another opportunity to, yet again, allow God to show me His faithfulness. Craig and I are tithers. God has always taken care of our family when we were in need. And every single bump in the road that we've encountered has been a time for God to prove to us that He is our Provider.
At the end of the sermon this week, Pastor Spencer presented a piece of the vision for our church, which was to put up a beautiful sign on the building with our church name on it. I knew how much we had left in our account because I had just updated our checkbook that morning. But I distinctly heard God telling me to give almost all of what we had left. Before leaving the sanctuary, I found an envelope and wrote it out for the amount that God told me to give. Pastor prayed for a quick harvest for those who gave that morning for the sign. I agreed with that prayer. After all, we were going to need money to get through the week. But God is our Provider. If He wanted me to give that amount, He must have a plan.
Amazing things happen when you just do what God tells you to do. It's an incredible feeling just to step out on faith and KNOW that God will take care of you. This is a concept that means nothing to the world. My mind automatically came up with a list of things that I could do with that money this week. I thought about the stuff that I still needed to buy from the store. I thought, "What if Craig needs more money for gas before he gets paid again?" And then the suggestion came: "Well, I wish we could give. But we're just one of those families that can't give right now. God understands that." What if I had listened to those thoughts in my mind? What if I had walked out of church that day and not followed what God had directed me to do?
This afternoon, I watched as God turned that small seed into a BIG harvest. He took the small amount I gave that morning and multiplied it x10 right back into our checking account. I am still kind of reeling from the shock. But I'm not surprised. As I continue to be faithful to do what God tells me to do, I continue to see His power and provision amplified in our family. I think back to so many other times when God was faithful.
After I got divorced, I began praying for my future husband. I spent time writing love letters to him, a man I didn't even know. Yet, I believed that God had someone for me. Little by little, God began revealing to me little tidbits about the man He had picked out to be my husband; so much so, that by the time I would meet him, I would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was my future husband. And when I met Craig, I knew.
God provided Craig with a job when he desperately needed one just to put a roof over our heads.
God answered my prayer for a baby by blessing me exactly how I asked Him to, in the year 2009, and He gave us Caleb. While I was pregnant, it was discovered that I had a 10cm tumor in my uterus. God healed that tumor and by the next ultrasound, it was nowhere to be seen. That little boy is a living testimony to the greatness of our God.
God provided us with a van when we needed one before Caleb was born. And He provided us again with a van when the first one was on it's last wheels.
When my dryer broke, God knew I had to have a dryer in order to do laundry for six people. I asked God for a dryer and then I thanked Him for a dryer. That week, God provided my dryer.
There are so many blessings I could list. I never want to lose sight of them. There is absolutely NO REASON not to trust that God has everything in His control. I have learned so much about faith and about trusting God to do what He says He will do.
There's another blessing in the works from my Heavenly Daddy. I'm not going to disclose it here right now. But you'll be hearing about it. Because God is good. His plans are perfect.
And because I'm His kid.
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